Sincere Parents, Not Arrogant Ones
Shakespeare once said that sincerity is the deepest emotion that touches people. In all communication, no matter how complex it may seem, the core element is still sincerity. It is sincerity that brings genuine feelings and trust. So why don’t parents apply this principle when dealing with their children?
A shocking incident had occurred: Two 15-year-old twin sisters deliberately poisoned their parents with rat poison because they felt that they were overly controlled.
During the first poisoning incident, their parents were extremely worried, even though the amount of poison was not enough to cause death. They survived without knowing the cause. In the hospital, after nearly dying, they changed the way they communicated with their children, becoming more affectionate. After many years, the two sisters felt the closeness from their parents, who used to maintain distance.
The two sisters wanted to prolong their parents’ stay in the hospital to continue feeling the warmth. But from then on, tragedy struck.
Love turned into hatred blinded by passion. The arrogance of the parents and the children’s loneliness and misery led to this heartbreaking tragedy.
Some parents spoil their children like a helicopter ready to fly, fulfilling every request without hesitation; others show love through critical lenses, firmly believing that “education through criticism” will make their children stronger; some others loosen all constraints, allowing their children to pursue every decision, believing that it is the “best for their children”; and there are parents who sacrifice everything, believing that true love is limitless investment.
However, it is regrettable that what we consider to be love does not always lead to good results. And these imprints will affect the child for life.
As parents, we need to learn to humble ourselves, look deep into the hearts and souls of our children. With sincerity, give them the true love they need. Just enough love from parents will support the child’s development into a sincere and authentic individual. We need to teach our children that while it is important to respect others, they should also set boundaries and not sacrifice themselves just to please others.
At the same time, parents need to be authentic with their children, express emotions and personal needs sincerely so that children understand that each person has their own desires and emotions.
Smart Parents Don’t Let Love Cross Boundaries
According to German Hellinger, a healthy family needs to be aware of the importance of boundaries. Liu Yong, a wise and skilled writer from China who excels at setting boundaries with children, has exemplified this. When his son reached adolescence, he did not hesitate to install a lock on his room to protect his privacy and dignity. When his daughter wore a crop top, although feeling strange, he did not interfere; instead, he advised on the necessity of keeping the body warm.
Nurturing children with quality care is not only about supervising them within a certain framework but also occasionally allowing them to be independent, even if it makes parents feel uneasy. To allow children the freedom to explore their personal path, parents need to care but not cross boundaries, avoiding excessive interference in various aspects of their children’s lives.
Nurturing children is not just about providing food or material care but also about educating them. With a broad vision and specific plans, parents can create conditions for their children to discover their potential, explore personal values, and develop inner strength naturally.
Parents Reflect on Themselves, Children Can’t Be Kind
Parents play the role of invaluable learning inspiration for their children. Young children often seek role models from their parents and see themselves reflected through their eyes.
Lev Tolstoy once said, “The process of education, or at least most of it, starts from personal examples, principles of life, and excellence of parents.” Raising children is a challenging and unpredictable journey, but the most effective and direct method is the impact of parents’ role models.
The way parents express themselves and behave deeply influences the formation of a child’s healthy character. This can determine whether a child will develop into a good adult with high moral qualities and the ability to solve problems accurately. The importance of these factors can surpass the impact of inherited intelligence.
Therefore, become a counselor and close friend to your child from now on, and remember: The sincerity and authenticity of parents make children feel strong and fearless; the trust and willingness to let go of parents make children more independent; and the less pressure there is, the more children develop autonomy and self-control.
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