“Being called an idiot by the neighbor’s daughter for not knowing her homework, while her friends laughed loudly, my daughter came home and cried her heart out. Her younger sister was also scared witnessing the scene. I felt helpless as a mother. What should I do now?”
Two years ago, when my daughter first started kindergarten, I found myself in a similar situation. Back then, I could only comfort her and blame myself for not teaching her how to stand up for herself. However, after conversations with psychologists and other parents, I realized that dealing with bullying is not just about teaching my child to react or silently endure. Wise parents always choose to act skillfully, protecting their children while helping them grow.
Create a Safe Space for Emotional Sharing
First, listen to your child. Refrain from immediately scolding or advising them. When your child is being bullied, the initial step is to let them know that you are always ready to listen and empathize. Allow your child to express all their emotions: anger, sadness, anxiety, or even shame. I recall a time when my daughter sobbed in my arms, recounting how a classmate had mocked her for being unable to solve a math problem. I remained silent, gently stroking her hair, and said, “It’s okay, you don’t have to be strong right now. It’s alright to feel this way.”
Listening to your child not only makes them feel loved but also provides an opportunity for parents to understand the issue at hand. This will enable us to address it appropriately, rather than reacting based on our personal emotions.
Teach Your Child to Face Bullies with Grace and Assertiveness
Many parents believe that teaching their children to face bullies head-on is the best approach. However, if your child isn’t strong enough to cope, this could increase their stress. Instead of pushing them to confront the bully directly, teach your child soft skills, such as speaking politely but firmly. For instance, if someone bullies them, they can calmly say, “Please don’t say that; it makes me uncomfortable.” This not only empowers them to stand up for themselves but also teaches them about mutual respect.
I practiced with my daughter by role-playing as both the bully and the victim. Initially, she was hesitant, but gradually, she gained confidence and learned to respond gracefully. With newfound confidence, she could protect herself and avoid unnecessary arguments.
Connect with the School and Community
If bullying occurs at school, don’t hesitate to reach out to the teachers or principal. Some schools have effective anti-bullying programs, but it’s crucial for parents to actively engage in this process. Discuss with the school administration how they handle such issues and request their support. Simultaneously, build relationships with other parents. The mothers in my neighborhood hold regular meetings to share experiences and advice on parenting. This not only provides reassurance but also creates a strong community where we can support each other.
When I shared my daughter’s story with other mothers, I realized that many of them faced similar challenges. Their support and creative solutions helped me immensely.
Why Are These Approaches Effective?
These three methods not only help parents protect their children but also teach them essential life skills. They learn to face difficulties, communicate effectively, and build self-confidence. Moreover, this approach fosters a safe and healthy environment for their growth.
As my daughter entered her teenage years, I noticed that the lessons she learned about dealing with bullying had become invaluable. She had gained confidence, mastered graceful handling of various situations, and maintained a balanced psyche.
All parents want their children to be happy and safe. However, when bullying occurs, instead of reacting angrily or ignoring it, try implementing these three skillful strategies. They will enable you to protect your child and help them mature in life. Remember, every child deserves love and protection. Be the wise parent who accompanies and guides them through life’s challenges.
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