6 Secrets to Raising Independent and Happy Children: Learn from Dutch Parents

Dutch parents have a simple yet highly effective approach to child-rearing. They prioritize independence, resilience, and open communication in their children.

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Biking with Kids

Since they are able to sit, Dutch parents tightly strap their children to the front of their bicycles and take them out in all kinds of weather. Of course, the children are equipped with appropriate gear.

For example, biking through a storm teaches kids that no matter what obstacles they face in life, they can overcome them. Additionally, this activity also teaches children independence.

So when children are 9-10 years old, most parents can confidently let their children ride their bikes to school or to their friends’ houses. This plays an important role in helping children develop into independent, self-reliant, and confident individuals.

Letting Kids Play Freely

Dutch children are allowed to play freely in playgrounds without parental supervision. Parents sit on benches, calmly chatting with each other while their children climb and run around.

From a young age, Dutch children are encouraged to explore their surroundings, trust themselves, dust themselves off, and get back up whenever they fall.

Not Working More Than 40 Hours a Week

The Netherlands is one of the happiest countries in the world because people there value the balance between work and life. A study in 2021 found that nearly half of the workforce in the Netherlands has part-time jobs. Dutch fathers take at least one day off every week to spend time with their children.

They can engage in activities with their children, such as going out, joining clubs, and playing sports. Or they have extra free time to spend with older family members.

Eating with Kids

Dutch parents always try to eat at least one meal together with their children every day. Through this, family members connect and chat about their day. This is part of the Dutch parenting culture.

The connection helps improve the mental well-being of all family members and contributes to happier, more emotionally balanced children. Additionally, it is an opportunity to teach children about table manners and social skills.

Establishing a Routine

The Dutch have a rule of “3R” which means “rust, reinheid, regelmaat” or “rest, cleanliness, and regularity”. When the child is born, Dutch parents are advised to establish these habits for their children.

Dutch children have a clear daily schedule, plenty of sleep, and stability. To develop well, children need organization, predictability, rest, and cleanliness. This provides a sense of security for the child. When a child knows what will happen, they feel safer and more comfortable when exploring the unknown.

Listening to Children’s Opinions

Dutch parents want their children to feel heard. Therefore, they involve their children in the decision-making process as soon as they understand language and communication.

Through this, children learn how to negotiate and establish personal boundaries from an early age. When parents ask for their children’s opinions and genuinely listen to them, children are more likely to develop a positive sense of self-worth.

Dutch parents are also not afraid to discuss uncomfortable topics such as sex, drugs, and gender. They understand that accepting their children’s true selves helps them become confident, happy, and well-balanced adults.

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