Renowned child psychologist, Michele Borba, asserts that perseverance has a greater impact on success than IQ. This assertion is based on research conducted by Angela L. Duckworth and Martin EP Seligman at the University of Pennsylvania.
However, it is a misconception to assume that teaching perseverance to children is merely a matter of offering a few suggestions and small actions. Instead, it requires both parents and children to embark on a journey of progress together.
Be a Role Model for Your Child
Demonstrate your own perseverance by showing your unwavering effort and commitment, even in the face of challenges. Before your child embarks on a task or project, encourage them with the phrase, “We won’t give up until we succeed.” Being a role model for your child is a powerful form of education that many parents are embracing.
Teach Your Child That Failure Is a Stepping Stone to Growth
Remind your child that failure is not always a negative outcome, but rather an opportunity for improvement. Acknowledge your child’s mistakes with a positive spin: “It’s okay. What matters is that you gave it your best effort.” It is also beneficial to own up to your own mistakes. This teaches your child that everyone makes errors and that success comes from maintaining faith in the face of setbacks.
Reinforce the Idea That Failure Is Not a Dead End
Educate Your Child About the Concept of Time
Children start developing abstract thinking skills around the age of nine. Prior to this, they have a very concrete understanding of activities, which can make it challenging for them to differentiate between, say, 15 and 45 minutes. To help your child overcome this hurdle, start teaching them about the concept of time as early as possible.
Set Limits on Screen Time
Ana Sousa Gavin, an educational psychologist and mother of two children aged 8 and 11, points out that phones and TVs are instant sources of information and entertainment, just a few clicks away. Consequently, when children are accustomed to these devices, they may expect everything to happen at this rapid pace. When faced with situations that require patience and waiting, they can easily become frustrated or irritable. Therefore, it is essential to engage your children in meaningful activities rather than allowing excessive screen time.
Enhance Your Child’s Focus
If your child wants to give up on a task, introduce a timer and set it for an appropriate duration that matches their concentration abilities. Encourage them to work until the timer goes off, after which they can take a break. Praise your child for completing the task before the timer rings, helping them feel a sense of accomplishment. Gradually, their concentration will improve.
Enhance Focus by Setting Timers
Help Your Child Discover Their Passions
Facilitate your child’s exploration of interests, passions, and natural talents. Avoid imposing your own hobbies on them, as this can lead to frustration and a desire to quit. If they show an interest in art, ask if they would like to attend a weekend painting class. If sports are their thing, encourage them to join a team. Strive to ignite their enthusiasm as much as possible, while also guiding them toward age-appropriate pursuits.
Bounce Back from Setbacks
When your child wants to give up, it may be because they cannot see a way to overcome the challenge. As a parent, acknowledge their disappointment and assure them that it is a normal emotion. Suggest taking a break to try some relaxation techniques or simply to rest. Then, encourage them to return to the task. Also, consider if there are any obstacles you can help remove.
Recognize and Address Obstacles to Persistence
Teach Patience Through Activities
Engage in games and activities that foster patience, such as jigsaw puzzles. Additionally, encourage your child to participate in endeavors that require patience and time, such as gardening, fishing, or similar pursuits. Limit their access to smartphones, as these can be a source of distraction and impatience.
Encourage Your Child to Delay Short-Term Gratification
Try negotiating with your child: “You can have one cookie now, or if you wait until after dinner, you can have two.” This type of choice encourages self-control and teaches them to delay short-term gratification for larger rewards. This valuable lesson will positively impact their development as they mature.
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