When raising children, parents often have high expectations, trust, and love for their children and always see them as important in their lives. But sometimes we unintentionally put a lot of pressure on our children. If you still have these thoughts and often say the following words to your children, you should reconsider:
“You are the best. No one can compare to you”
Parents need to praise their children when they have achievements. It’s important to give specific praise. But if you don’t know how to balance it, it can make your child misunderstand themselves. Each child is a unique individual. However, saying that your child is the best can lead to a misunderstanding, making them become arrogant. It will result in children who are afraid to challenge themselves with something new because they are afraid of failure and not living up to their parents’ expectations. Instead of saying that, parents can say it differently, such as “You have made a lot of effort and I can see that you have improved from yesterday”, or say “You did a great job, better than before”. It is best not to put the child in a comparative relationship with anyone.
“Don’t hit your siblings, you are brothers and sisters”
This statement can be damaging to older children and make the younger sibling rely on them. Many parents think that the older child should yield to the younger one and forbid them from hitting the younger one, without knowing what happened or who is at fault. But that should never be the case. Parents should be fair when resolving conflicts between siblings, and both children should apologize if they are at fault. Therefore, saying “don’t hit your siblings” or “don’t hurt your siblings” will not be as effective as explaining why they shouldn’t do that and also teaching the younger siblings not to provoke them.
“That’s a small matter, why do you care”
As parents, you might sometimes feel that your child’s problem is trivial. However, for children, it can be a big deal because in their perspective and at their age, it is important. So listen to your child and don’t dismiss or ignore their concerns, as that can make them sad. If your child is genuinely concerned about something, let them share it, and listen to them, don’t dismiss it as insignificant. After listening, analyze how your child should face the situation.
“Focus on studying, let us take care of other things”
In a family, there are more than just studies. Let your child participate in family activities according to their age and ability. From there, they will develop better skills. Learning is important, but it is only a part of your child’s life and future. When your child participates in household chores, they will understand their parents better and develop independence. This will help them grow up to be more mature and resilient.
Don’t do everything for your child, as they will find it extremely difficult to become independent and cope with life when they grow up.
“Leave it there, if you redo it, it will be ruined. Let us do it”
Even if your child hasn’t done something well, don’t do it for them. Letting your child do it themselves is a way of teaching them. Accepting their mistakes once or twice shows that you are a great parent, but if you do it for them, they will never learn how to do it themselves. Can you do it for them forever? So don’t think that doing it a little bit will be enough and you can let your child do whatever they want. Instead, if they haven’t done it correctly, guide them to do it again, encourage them, and they will do better next time.
“Boys don’t cry, what’s the matter that makes you cry”
Parents should allow their children to express their emotions and teach them how to acknowledge their own emotions. Whether it’s a boy or a girl, they have the right to express their emotions. When happy, they laugh; when sad, they cry; when angry, they need to find a way to release it. Forcing them to hide their emotions can make them more insecure, timid, and fearful. Suppressing emotions is also not beneficial for a child’s development.
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In the contemporary world, in which technology pervades our lives, some mothers tend to soothe their babies through nursing while simultaneously watching television. Although this practice may not appear to affect the infant, studies show that it can in fact have dire repercussions on the baby’s well-being, both in terms of physical health and mental growth. In this article, we will look at the possible reasons for this activity and its potential outcomes.
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– ‘Why can’t you be more like your sibling?’: This can create a sense of inadequacy and sibling rivalry, affecting self-esteem.
– ‘You’re so clumsy/stupid/useless’: Labeling a child with negative adjectives can lead to a fixed mindset and low self-worth.
– ‘I wish you hadn’t been born’: This extreme statement can make a child feel unloved and unwanted, impacting their sense of security and self-worth.
– ‘You’re too sensitive’: Dismissing a child’s emotions can teach them to ignore their own feelings, leading to a disconnect from their emotional needs.
– ‘Big boys/girls don’t cry’: Discouraging the expression of emotions creates a barrier to emotional intelligence and healthy processing of feelings.
