Hide Your Hard Work
In raising children, there are things that seem unloving but are actually good for them, and there are things that seem loving but are actually harmful to them. For example, when parents love their children too much and spoil them, never letting them experience hardship, the children will not be strong enough, will be dependent, and will be afraid when they encounter difficulties. When parents train their children to be independent and self-reliant, it may seem like they are being indifferent, but in fact it is giving them the opportunity to develop strength. Like an eagle throwing its young into the air to let them develop their survival instincts, it is only by doing this that the eaglets can survive and become eagles.
Therefore, parents should not love their children so much that they do everything for them, because that is a big mistake. When parents do everything for their children, they are depriving them of the opportunity to be independent and experience life.
Therefore, in raising children, from the time they are young, parents should not show their hard work and should hide some things that they could do for their children so that their children can do them themselves. Young children should be given simple tasks, and older children should be given more difficult tasks. This habit should be cultivated from a young age so that children become accustomed to working and appreciate the value of work. Parents should never do their children’s homework or other assignments for them. Overprotective parenting styles like these lead to children who are dependent and unable to cope with difficulties when they grow up. When children encounter a minor setback in their job search, parents may rush to use their connections or money to get them the job instead of letting them experience life and learn from their mistakes. This only makes the children more dependent and unable to think for themselves.
When parents work hard for their children instead of guiding them, they end up suffering while their children become lazy and spoiled. Therefore, do not let yourself suffer while your children become useless. Children who have parents who are too caring and do everything for them are children who will never grow up and never have the opportunity to grow. Therefore, parents should provide for their children in moderation and let them do their own things.
Hide Your Savings
Parents should not emphasize to their children that their family is poor, but they should not reveal the full extent of their savings, even when their children are adults. Do not give your children a safety net that will make them stop trying. Save as much as you can and do not tell your children about it. Just don’t make them think you are too poor compared to others. Children who are not aware of their parents’ financial situation will be more likely to work hard and find ways to earn money. If they are lazy and dependent, sharing this information with them will only make them more dependent. They will think that there is no need to work hard because they have their parents’ savings to fall back on.
Savings are for emergencies and should not be touched under normal circumstances. Do not show them off to your children so that they do not rely on them. If they know their parents have no money, they may work harder and find ways to earn money. Therefore, parents who show off their money too much are not doing their children any favors. Parents can support their children, but they should not instill in them the idea that “my parents have money, so I don’t have to work hard.”
Parents should have an emergency fund so that they do not have to worry about unexpected events when they are sick or elderly. Moreover, there are many cases where parents and children have had falling outs and the parents have been left alone and miserable in their old age. Therefore, parents must be prepared for themselves.
Hide Your Disappointment in Your Children
In addition to love, parents may also be disappointed with their children and sad when their children are not as successful as others. However, parents should not show their disappointment to their children, as this will make them feel pressured and sometimes resentful.
Parents should not sigh, compare their children to others, or talk about the achievements and wealth of other children.
Parents should clearly understand their children’s abilities and personalities so that they can set realistic expectations. Wise parents will hide their disappointment and acknowledge that not all children are exceptional. Therefore, parents should try to encourage their children’s strengths and minimize their weaknesses, but they should not show their disappointment or compare them to others. Parents should encourage their children to be better than they were yesterday. When parents blame their children, it creates distance and makes things worse.
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