“Raising Children: Navigating Gender Differences in Parenting”
In reality, each child, with their unique gender identity, demands distinct approaches to parenting. Thus, the art of raising children varies with every child.
Our ancestors wisely concluded that raising a talented child involves embracing the philosophy: “Raising a son, avoid these three things; raising a daughter, avoid these four”. Here’s a detailed explanation:
Raising a Son: Three Things to Avoid
1. Avoid “Tight Reins”
Typically, compared to daughters, sons are expected to be braver and more resilient. However, if boys are constantly suppressed emotionally, it contradicts this expectation. Every child, regardless of gender, deserves the freedom to express and communicate their emotions healthily.
Imagine a little boy, around 3-4 years old, who falls and starts crying. Instead of comforting him, his mother says, “Get up, don’t cry. Boys shouldn’t be crybabies; what will you amount to when you grow up?” As the boy struggles to his feet, tears still streaming down his face, onlookers can’t help but feel sympathy. Why isn’t this little boy, clearly in pain, allowed to express his true emotions?
When parents restrain their son’s tears and suppress their display of vulnerability, it can have detrimental effects on their psychological well-being and future personality.
Each child’s gender identity calls for unique parenting approaches. (Illustrative image)
2. Avoid “Too Much Slack”
Some families take a hands-off approach to raising their sons, sometimes to the point of neglect. Many parents justify this as allowing their son “self-awareness,” but before adulthood, boys are still children who require a solid education and parental guidance.
Without goals or expectations, a child may struggle to discern right from wrong or fail to develop essential life skills. Thus, too much freedom without direction can leave a child confused and aimless.
3. Avoid “Spoiling”
Grandparents and parents often rejoice excessively at the birth of a grandson or son. This joy can lead to overindulgence, fulfilling every desire, no matter how unreasonable. However, this practice only harms the child.
Some parents cannot bear to see their sons struggle or endure a difficult life. They may even hesitate to let their son marry and start his own family. Consequently, their son may never mature, take responsibility, or become the family pillar. When parents are no longer around, how will their son cope?
Therefore, sons should experience hardship and a degree of bitterness. Adversity fosters ambition and teaches them to value their achievements, not relying too heavily on others.
Raising a Daughter: Four Things to Avoid
1. Avoid Disregard
Unfortunately, the idea of favoring sons over daughters still persists. Some believe that daughters are ultimately “someone else’s child,” and no matter how well you raise them, they won’t benefit you in the long run.
This mindset leads to a minimal investment in daughters, with parents focusing their energy, time, and resources on their sons instead. Such outdated thinking can significantly impact a daughter’s mental health and personality, potentially stifling her future before it begins.
2. Avoid the “Raise Her to Marry” Mentality
Some parents still believe that “a daughter doesn’t need much education; it’s useless anyway. All she needs is a good husband”. While this idea may seem antiquated, it’s still prevalent, especially in rural areas.
Or they may think, “A daughter’s best option is to marry well”. This misguided belief can lead to inaction and a lack of motivation or purpose.
When raising a daughter, don’t confine her future to belonging to someone else or relying on another for her happiness. Instead, teach her to stand on her own two feet and take charge of her life.
By doing so, not only will you spare yourself worries about her future, but you may also be blessed with her support in your old age.
3. Avoid “Raising a Daughter in Poverty”
Daughters raised with financial security, educational opportunities, and parental love tend to be more cautious and discerning. They are less likely to be swayed by material temptations.
As the old saying goes: “Failing to educate your daughter brings harm to three generations”. First, it harms the parents, then the husband, and finally, the children.
Therefore, if you have a daughter, it’s best to provide her with the best possible education. Help her understand the meaning of being a good person and give her a solid foundation for success.
4. Avoid Anger
As the saying goes, “Children are a reflection of their parents”. When raising a daughter, parents must first learn to control their temper and model calm, rational behavior. This way, their daughter can emulate and refine her personality.
Research shows that gentle, rational parenting is far more effective than rigid, angry discipline.
A daughter who inherits her parents’ hot-tempered ways may find herself at a disadvantage, ultimately harming herself.
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