Nowadays, many families encourage their children to participate in household chores and motivate them by giving them a certain amount of money. Many children who used to be unenthusiastic about doing chores have become more eager. Many kids see the money their parents pay as an incentive to work harder, and some even ask to do chores regularly even when they are not required to. Some parents believe that if a child helps with household chores, they can give them pocket money. This will make children feel deserving of praise for fulfilling their responsibilities and understanding the value of labor. Instead of giving children pocket money, they can learn through doing household chores that they have to put in effort to earn money.
According to a survey by VnExpress with nearly 1,400 readers, 75% said they often pay their children when they do something. This practice has existed in the United States for over 100 years. Information from the American Institute of Certified Public Accountants shows that children in the United States receive an average of $800 in pocket money each year, but they do not receive money regularly without a specific reason. The majority of parents consider that amount as “salary” for small chores at home.
According to VnExpress, Dr. Vu Thu Huong, former lecturer in education at Hanoi Pedagogical University, said that the advantage of this method is to promote children’s ability to do household chores. Parents do not have to constantly remind and urge their children, as they will become more self-motivated. Another advantage is that it helps children understand the meaning of earning money and realize that in order to have things in life, everyone has to work hard.
However, Dr. Huong also warns parents that “hiring children to do household chores is only effective in the short term. If parents continue to pay in this way, children can easily misunderstand their personal responsibilities within the family and community.” Children may become bored and assume that they only have to do those tasks if they are paid. When additional tasks arise, they may demand more money without it coming from their own motivation and without realizing that it is a shared responsibility of all family members. Moreover, this can make children not voluntarily help their parents, but see it as a job for money, not respecting labor but doing it for personal gain.
In reality, many parents encounter the consequence that children always ask how much money they will receive when assigned a new task, and even always request money for any help they provide in the family.
Dr. Nguyen Thi Minh, lecturer at the National Academy of Public Administration in Ho Chi Minh City, does not oppose parents paying their children for doing household chores, but she believes that parents need to teach children that doing chores is not for receiving rewards but because they are helping their family. Parents should make children understand that doing household chores is a shared responsibility of every family member, and that parents use pocket money as an educational tool rather than salary.
According to Dr. Minh, laziness in doing household chores for children is due to the lack of early labor education from parents. At the age of 2-3, children are very curious but also prone to risks and accidents if not closely monitored and guided by parents. Therefore, you should let your child do and control them instead of being afraid to let them do.
Dr. Minh believes that to make children voluntarily share household tasks, parents need to make it clear to children that household chores are the shared responsibility of all family members, not just one person. By building the habit of doing household chores, children also learn how to take care of themselves when they are young. In the family, parents should allocate specific tasks to their children.
After that, when children do well, parents should provide motivation by praising, acknowledging, and appreciating them, as well as guiding them further when they cannot perform well. Compared to material rewards, this is a better way for children to experience the value and happiness of helping their parents. Experts believe that this is a “positive reinforcement” method, considered as giving rewards to encourage and satisfy after the individual has performed a behavior. This type of reinforcement involves expressing recognition for the behavior to satisfy the individual. Experts also guide parents in more effective ways to interact with their children, such as giving rewards through hugs or outdoor activities during leisure time. The most important thing is to emphasize to children that doing household chores is a duty and responsibility, and it is not just about doing it and being rewarded by parents.
What is your family’s approach to giving pocket money to children and guiding them in doing household chores? And what do you think about paying children for doing household chores?
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