“Raising Children: Navigating Gender Differences in Parenting”
In reality, each child, with their unique gender identity, demands distinct approaches to parenting. Thus, the art of raising children varies with every child.
Our ancestors summarized the art of raising successful children with the philosophy: “Raising sons, avoid these three things; raising daughters, avoid these four things.” Specifically:
Raising Sons: Three Things to Avoid
1. Avoid “Over-Repressing”
Typically, compared to daughters, sons are expected to be braver and more resilient. However, if boys are constantly suppressed emotionally, it does them a great disservice. Emotional expression, be it for boys or girls, is a fundamental right that should be encouraged in a healthy manner.
Imagine a little boy, aged 3-4, who falls and starts crying. Instead of comforting him, his mother says, “Get up, don’t cry. Boys don’t whine; what will you amount to when you grow up?” As the boy struggles to his feet, tears still streaming down his face, onlookers can’t help but feel a pang of sympathy. Why is this little boy, in pain, not allowed to express his true emotions?
When parents stifle their son’s tears and suppress their emotional vulnerability, it can have detrimental effects on their psychological well-being and future personality traits.
Each child’s gender identity calls for unique parenting approaches. (Illustrative image)
2. Avoid “Over-Indulging”
Some families take the opposite approach and are too lenient in raising their sons, sometimes even neglecting their development and proper education.
While many parents refer to this as “self-awareness,” it’s important to remember that before a boy becomes a man, he is still a child who deserves a good education from his caregivers.
Without a sense of obligation to achieve goals, a child may not understand right from wrong or develop a sense of responsibility.
Consequently, if parents consistently take a hands-off approach, their son may grow up confused and lacking direction in life.
3. Avoid “Spoiling”
Grandparents and parents often rejoice excessively at the birth of a grandson or son. This joy can sometimes lead to overindulging the child and fulfilling their every whim, which is ultimately detrimental.
They cannot bear to see their son struggle or suffer due to financial hardships, and they may even hesitate to let him marry when he comes of age. As a result, their son may never truly mature, becoming incapable of supporting himself and his future family. What will he do when his parents, his primary source of support, are no longer around?
Therefore, sons should be raised with a sense of hardship and bitterness so that they can develop high aspirations, learn to value their own efforts, and not rely too heavily on others.
Raising Daughters: Four Things to Avoid
1. Avoid Disregard
Unfortunately, the idea of favoring sons over daughters still persists in some places. Daughters are sometimes seen as a burden, and the thought is that even if you raise them well, they will eventually marry and leave.
With this mindset, some parents focus solely on arranging their daughter’s marriage, neglecting her overall development. In many families, resources, time, and wealth are primarily invested in sons rather than daughters.
This outdated mindset can significantly impact a daughter’s mental health and personality. It essentially snuffs out her future before she even has a chance to bloom.
2. Avoid the “Raise Her to Marry” Mentality
Some parents still hold the belief that “daughters don’t need much education; it’s better to find a good husband for them.” While this idea may seem antiquated, it’s still prevalent, especially in rural areas.
Or they may think, “It’s best for a daughter to get married.” This mistaken belief can lead to a lack of motivation and purpose.
When raising a daughter, don’t confine her future to belonging to someone else or relying on someone else for happiness. Instead, teach her to stand on her own two feet and take charge of her life.
By doing so, not only will you ensure her independence, but you may also find that she becomes a source of support for you in your old age.
3. Avoid “Raising Daughters in Poverty”
Daughters raised in comfortable financial circumstances, with access to quality education, and surrounded by parental love, tend to develop a sense of caution and discernment. They are less likely to be swayed by material temptations.
As the old saying goes, “Failing to educate your daughter will bring harm to three generations”—first to the parents, then to the husband, and finally to the children.
Therefore, if you have a daughter, it’s best to provide her with the best possible conditions for her education, so she understands the meaning of humanity and has a solid foundation for success.
4. Avoid “Raising Daughters in Anger”
The saying, “Children are a reflection of their parents’ personalities” rings true. When raising daughters, parents must first learn to control their own temper and adopt a calm and rational approach to parenting.
In reality, gentle and logical parenting is far more effective than rigid and angry discipline.
A daughter who inherits her parents’ hot-tempered nature will only bring herself disadvantages and ultimately harm herself.
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The Modern Parent’s Guide: Navigating Young Love in the Pre-Teen Years
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8 Ways Parents Show Their Love: Is Your Child’s Happiness at Stake?
No one is born a perfect parent, but with a willingness to learn and grow, you can provide a solid foundation of love for your child’s future.
