Food & Receipts

The Perfect Name: A Parent’s Guide to Naming Their Child Without Causing Them Future Grief

Naming a child is an important task; some spend months researching, consulting books, websites, and even seeking advice from Feng Shui and physiognomy masters. However, there are those who underestimate the power of a name, which can inadvertently cause hardship for their children.

Administrator

29 July, 2024

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Our client has a name that makes people want to refuse to cooperate. Her name is… Ngan, which translates to “fed up” in English. Apparently, her parents had already had five daughters, so they jokingly called her Ngan, but when it came time to register her birth, the relative doing so mistakenly wrote down “Ngan” instead of “Ngân,” thinking the handwritten character looked more like an “a” than an “â.” Her parents only glanced at the birth certificate and didn’t notice the difference between “Ngân” and “Ngán.” It wasn’t until she started school that she realized the mistake, but by then, it was too much of a hassle to change the paperwork, so her parents left it as it was. Every time she hears her name called, she feels annoyed and has tried to introduce herself as Ngân to clients, but official transactions must use the name on her documents, leading to complicated explanations.

Last week, we interviewed a young woman for a position in charge of foreign relations. She was quite pretty and energetic, but her name, Đỗ Bưởi, became an awkward reason for our boss to hesitate. If she were to take on this role, she would be responsible for many meetings and interactions, not only with domestic clients but also with foreign partners. And her name, when translated as Do Buoi, becomes a delicate issue for someone in a position representing the company externally. I wonder if her parents ever realized that the name they gave their daughter could be unfair to her.

Names stick with children for life, so be mindful when choosing one.

My cousin also complained about his father giving him a name that was easy to mock, Tạ Văn Thế. As a result, his classmates would often call him Tạ Thế, which can be interpreted as “to save.” There was also an intern named Nguyễn Thanh Thúy, but people kept mistaking his name for Quý, which is a more commonly heard name. Once, our director asked him to pick up some important documents, and the other party was expecting a girl named Thúy. When a tall and muscular guy showed up, the delivery person refused to hand over the package, insisting that they were told it was a girl named Thúy. Unfortunately, our director was already on a flight, making confirmation calls difficult. In the end, Thúy had to return to the office to get his ID card, and the other party even took photos and videos as proof of his identity. It turned out that his family name was Nguyễn Thanh, and he was the second child. His parents, longing for a girl, had already chosen the name before he was born.

Don’t let your children be teased because of their names, even nicknames require attention.

In the past, Vietnamese people often gave their children ugly names out of fear that beautiful names would attract evil spirits. Nowadays, most parents want to give their children attractive names. However, some names can be too unique or long-winded, lacking Vietnamese cultural identity, or even describing physical features that are the opposite of the child’s actual appearance, like naming a dark-skinned child Bạch Tuyết (Snow White).

Naming a child is not just about the birth certificate; nicknames can also become an issue. Many people casually call their children by unflattering nicknames, sometimes even rude ones like Hô, Đen, Dô, Toét, Lùn, or Cong. While some nicknames are meant to be humorous, others can be hurtful. It’s important to consider the potential consequences of a name, not just its compatibility with the family name or its auspiciousness according to superstitions. A person’s name is difficult to change, so it’s crucial to choose wisely, taking into account not only legal requirements but also potential social implications.

Frequently asked questions

A name is a powerful tool that can shape a person’s identity and how they are perceived by others. It can impact a child’s self-esteem, their social interactions, and even their future opportunities. Choosing a name is a significant decision that can affect a child’s life, so it’s important to consider potential consequences and choose a name that will empower and benefit the child.

There are a few common mistakes parents might make when choosing a name. These include picking a name that is too trendy, which may date the child and become a source of embarrassment later on. Another pitfall is choosing a name that is too unusual or difficult to pronounce, which can lead to frustration and social anxiety for the child. It’s also important to consider the potential for bullying or teasing based on the name.

Classic and traditional names often stand the test of time better than trendy or pop-culture-inspired names. Consider names with a strong, positive meaning, and avoid names with negative connotations. It’s also wise to research the potential name’s history and avoid names with controversial or unpleasant associations. A name that is timeless and classic is less likely to cause the child grief in the future.

It’s important to be respectful of cultural norms and traditions when naming a child. Consider the child’s heritage and choose a name that aligns with their cultural background. Avoid names that may be considered offensive or inappropriate in certain cultures. Also, be mindful of the potential for cultural appropriation and choose a name that genuinely reflects the child’s identity.

Involving the child in the naming process can make them feel empowered and valued. If the child is old enough, discuss potential names with them and get their input. This can help them feel a sense of ownership and pride in their name. For younger children, you might read books together that feature a variety of names, or ask them to draw pictures of names they like, to gently guide their preferences.