Children who sleep with someone will belong to that person
A mother tells that because the couple had to work far away, they sent their child to his grandparents. 2 years later when the couple picked up the child, every night the child demanded to sleep with his grandmother. Despite the couple’s efforts, the child still sought his grandmother when he woke up. The mother’s 3-year-old daughter always wanted to share everything with her grandmother. In that situation, the mother could only blame herself for not being close to her child.
Perhaps this story is similar to many others because of the struggle to support the child by letting the grandparents take care of the child, and the result is that the child becomes estranged from the parents.
Even if it’s not the grandparents, it could be a nanny or a babysitter. If you leave the child in their care, there is a possibility that one day the child will be closer to them than the parents. There was a story of parents being shocked when their child, who was born in the capital city, spoke with the accent of the nanny. This was because the parents went out during the evening and returned home after the child went to bed. So the child stayed at home with the nanny, learning to speak with the nanny’s local accent.
After listening to the story, some child-raising experts immediately pointed out the issue: “A child will belong to the person they sleep with”.
Remember, the period before the child turns 3 years old is crucial in their life to build a sense of safety between parents and children.
During the 10 months of pregnancy, the baby in the womb becomes accustomed to the mother’s heartbeat and sounds, creating a strong bond with the mother. The development of attachment relationships usually occurs during the first 3 years of a child’s life.
Therefore, before the child turns 3, it is best for parents to sleep with their child, which is beneficial for the child’s development. If there is truly an unavoidable circumstance, try to choose the grandparents, and avoid letting the child sleep with a babysitter.
Who a child sleeps with is smarter?
Sometimes we only think that it is more convenient for the child to sleep with someone based on family arrangements. However, who a child sleeps with will have differences in their physical, mental, and intellectual development. The quality of sleep is extremely important for children. It affects the child’s height and intelligence.
The primary factor for infants is sleep. Each baby can sleep 10-12 hours a day. During this time, nearly 1/6 of the time, the child is in a state of light sleep, where even the slightest disturbance can wake them up immediately.
Therefore, if a child cannot maintain a deep sleep, it will also affect their intellectual development. Let’s examine each case of who a child sleeps with:
A child sleeps with their mother: The first place where a child grows and develops is inside their mother’s womb during pregnancy. The sounds the child loves the most are the mother’s heartbeat, and the most comforting scent is the mother’s breath. Therefore, when they sleep with their mother, they will feel the most comfortable. Sleeping with their mother makes the child feel secure, leading to a deep sleep. Good quality sleep will enhance their intelligence while sleeping. In addition, children who develop a sense of safety will also improve and assist in social interaction, learning, and thinking. They will naturally become more intelligent.
A child sleeps with their father: The closer the father is to the child, the better, as it creates a sense of complete security for the child. Besides the mother, the father is very important to the child, in terms of emotional needs and the child’s safety in life. However, mothers should note that although it is good for a child to sleep with their father, there are also risks involved, such as snoring, excessive sleepiness, accidental pressure on the child’s limbs… Even though it is good for a child to sleep with their father, try to avoid letting the father sleep alone with the child. It is important to control the “sleep safety” of the child. If the father takes good care of the child and pays attention to their well-being, then the child sleeping with both parents is extremely beneficial for the child to experience family happiness from a young age.
A child sleeps with their grandparents: Grandparents love their grandchildren, sometimes even more than their own children, they dote on and pamper them. Many families face economic pressures, so they often let their children sleep with their grandparents. The support of grandparents is extremely good for young couples. Grandparents often go to bed early, which is more suitable for the sleeping habits of young children compared to parents. However, the meticulous care of older people towards their grandchildren often results in the children’s lack of independence and weaker self-care abilities. Especially in terms of physiology, the elderly often have lighter sleep states. When children move or cry, it affects the sleep of the elderly. As a consequence, the health of the elderly at home will also be affected due to lack of rest at night.
Therefore, in order for both children and the elderly to have a good night’s sleep, young parents should try to teach their children to sleep on their own and not rely too much on the help of older people.
Therefore, the ideal model is for grandparents to assist in taking care of children while parents should be the ones closest to and sleeping with the child the most. The time a child spends sleeping accounts for 1/3 of the day and is a very important period in a child’s early life. During this period, children prefer to sleep with those closest to them and are more influenced by them.
When giving birth to a child, parents should prepare to take care of their children in the best way possible. The support of grandparents is extremely precious, but it cannot be considered their responsibility. Furthermore, it cannot be simply assumed that it’s good for the child to be with anyone, and that parents only need to worry about earning money to take care of the child.
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