A study conducted by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in the United States confirmed that the brain activity of children who engage in bedtime conversations is three times higher than that of their peers.
Additionally, a Harvard study found that children who regularly chat before bed are 34% less likely to experience emotional issues during their teenage years.
The Surprising Benefits of Bedtime Conversations Between Parents and Children
Asking simple questions such as “Who did you enjoy playing with today and why?” or “If you could be any bird, which one would you choose?”, “If you could time travel to the past, where would you go?” can have surprising benefits.
These seemingly meaningless conversations with your child before they fall asleep can have hidden and surprising advantages.
Unlocking Learning Potential
Children absorb knowledge, enhance their awareness, and improve their learning effectiveness when they are in a relaxed state.
Neuroscientific and educational psychology studies have confirmed that stress inhibits learning, while joy improves memory retention.
Bedtime conversations between parents and children create a relaxed state for the child’s brain. When the brain shifts from “task mode” to “autopilot,” it processes information faster and more easily stimulates creative thinking.
Clinical trials have shown that enjoyable nighttime conversations can stimulate the brain to release a neurotrophic factor derived from the brain, known as BDNF, which promotes neural connections and enhances intelligence.
Bedtime is the perfect time for parents and children to bond and create lasting memories.
Strengthening the Parent-Child Bond
As the day draws to a close and the fatigue and noise of the day fade away, parents lie down with their children, awaiting sleep. Engaging in comfortable conversations during this time can create beautiful memories for the child.
With lower stress hormone levels, children will be more relaxed. The sense of security created by these conversations will also enhance their feeling of being loved.
Enhancing Future Social Skills
Bedtime presents a unique opportunity for parents to have meaningful conversations with their children and impart valuable life lessons.
Through these conversations, parents can gain insight into their children’s daily activities, inner world, and any potential risks during their development, such as why they don’t like attending kindergarten or why they don’t enjoy playing with a particular friend.
Furthermore, research indicates that children who regularly engage in comfortable family conversations before bed are 41% more likely to make positive friendships when they start school.
How Should Parents Converse with Their Children Before Bedtime?
To maximize the value of these seemingly meaningless conversations, parents should be aware of certain techniques.
Following the “Golden Conversation Formula”
When conversing with children, there are two essential rules to follow:
Firstly, adhere to the “3:7 Listening Rule,” which means the child should do most of the talking while the parent listens without judgment, labeling, or interruption.
If parents talk too much, it becomes a lecture, defeating the purpose of relaxation and conversation.
The second rule is the “3:2 Tracking Method.” This involves listening emptily to the child for three minutes, completely following their rhythm, and using phrases like “what’s next?” and “that’s interesting” to encourage self-expression and stimulate divergent thinking.
Then, for two minutes, ask follow-up questions focusing on keywords. For example, if a friend cried today, focus on the keyword “cried” and guide your child towards empathy, asking, “If you were in their shoes, what would you do?” to develop their social skills.
Tailoring Conversations to Different Age Groups
The content of conversations varies with the age of the child:
For 3-4-year-olds, who are still in an enlightenment phase and lack social experience, use metaphorical questions.
Ask about their daily experiences and encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings.
For 5-6-year-olds, introduce problem-solving and encourage them to become little teachers or scientists, guiding them through the process of finding solutions.
With children over 7, discuss multiple perspectives to help them learn to view issues from different angles and positions, fostering a dialectical and objective mindset.
Enhancing Conversation Topics
Parents should stay updated with knowledge and tailor conversation topics according to their child’s unique developmental needs.
These conversations can encompass not only academics, daily life, and play but also financial management and planning, imagination, safety awareness, self-awareness, and hobbies. Through diverse conversation topics, parents can nurture various skills and abilities in their children.
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