In many families, parents worry about finances and may therefore decide to invest more in their daughters, believing that educating girls will bring greater benefits in the future. However, this can lead to sons missing out on developmental opportunities and education.
Illustrative image.
On the other hand, raising sons in poverty can lead to a lack of essential skills for development, creating a significant gap in social competitiveness.
Meanwhile, if both genders are encouraged to develop independent and creative thinking and become more excellent, they will contribute to overall development.
Therefore, to raise better future generations, parents need to create a suitable environment where both sons and daughters have the opportunity to develop and express themselves. On this issue, psychologist Nguyen Ngoc Vui gives his opinion and detailed analysis.
Psychologist Nguyen Ngoc Vui.
Doctor, what led to the belief that “Boys should be raised poor, girls should be raised rich”
This viewpoint has existed for a long time, rooted in the traditional way of raising children in Asian cultures. We can understand the saying, “Raise boys poor, raise girls rich” to mean that boys should be taught a simple lifestyle, resilience, endurance, self-reliance, and a sense of responsibility so that they can shoulder family burdens in the future. Thus, boys should be brought up in a deprived and austere environment to foster determination.
Meanwhile, “raising girls rich” aims to help them develop self-worth, resilience to potential relationship issues, and independence. Therefore, girls need to be raised in a financially stable family, receiving ample love, care, and appropriate attention.
In summary, this perspective reflects a family’s desire for their sons to be strong, resilient, and responsible, while their daughters should be brought up with a sense of refinement and self-protection when facing issues related to class and gender.
Is this concept still applicable in modern society? How do today’s family and social environments influence the idea of raising sons in poverty and daughters in wealth?
Nowadays, issues related to gender biases and wealth disparities are viewed more liberally and openly by society. For instance, the notion that girls should not attend university or that boys must solely focus on economic pursuits is no longer prevalent or favored in societal functioning. Thus, the underlying factor is not about gender differences but about equipping each child with diverse qualities to navigate their social environment, depending on their context, social class, or unique circumstances.
Fundamentally, we all need to be taught resilience and provided with quality education to foster self-love, self-care, and the ability to contribute positively to society. As such, family and social environments today are less rigid regarding gender stereotypes, allowing for more flexibility, appropriateness, diversity, and specificity in parenting approaches within the societal flow.
In your consulting experience, have you encountered any successful cases where parents applied this method of raising their children?
Yes, I have come across such cases in my consulting practice. However, determining the success of child-rearing is not solely dependent on this method but on various other factors.
Specifically, it’s essential to consider if parents genuinely understand their children’s personalities and if they exhibit flexibility and adaptability in employing this approach.
For instance, some families may prioritize teaching their sons problem-solving skills through activities like playing with Lego or Rubik’s cubes and outdoor experiences. In contrast, daughters might be encouraged to engage in family-oriented games, such as caring for dolls or cooking, depending on the unique cultural dynamics of each family.
As society progresses and gender discussions become more open, free from segregation, both boys and girls need to learn self-improvement from family and social environments. This fosters self-confidence, responsibility, and self-love while adapting to the rapid developments of the present day.
What should parents do to balance raising sons and daughters without creating a distinction between them?
Parents need to understand that both sons and daughters require discipline, self-love, respect for others, and problem-solving skills. Then, they should reflect on their current family dynamics and consider how to help their children achieve these goals.
This involves not just monitoring their behavior but also actively engaging with them throughout their development. It’s crucial to consider the children’s personalities, as some may be sensitive and require comfort, while others may be more resilient and confident.
Both sons and daughters should be responsible for their lives, with parents acting as guides and motivators toward self-reliance and decision-making.
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