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The Child Within: Understanding the Triangular Bond of Family and its Impact on Early Childhood

14 October, 2024

Some children may take a day or two to settle down after crying, while others may continue for a month or even longer. This variability is often attributed to the unique family dynamics each child comes from, which can significantly impact their ability to adapt to new environments like kindergarten.

Dysfunctional Families and Their Impact

Family dynamics play a crucial role in a child’s development and sense of security. For instance, tension between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, resulting in frequent arguments or a cold war, can leave a child feeling unsafe and insecure. Similarly, children who are frequently exposed to conflicts between their parents are more likely to exhibit crying and irritable behavior.

*Parental conflicts can disrupt a child’s sense of security and well-being.*

The family is a child’s first and most important safe haven. Therefore, the harmony or disharmony within the family unit will inevitably shape their psychological development and personality. When family members are in a state of tension or conflict, a child’s sense of security can be compromised, leading to fears and anxieties that may be exacerbated when they start kindergarten and encounter a new environment.

To prevent this, parents should refrain from arguing in front of their children and strive to resolve conflicts amicably through consultation, ensuring that their child’s sense of safety remains intact.

The Consequences of Neglectful Families

While some parents may view a child’s crying as a minor issue that will resolve itself, research suggests that neglecting a child’s cries can have significant implications for their psychological development. Renowned psychologist Sigmund Freud emphasized the critical importance of trust-building during early childhood, particularly in the first year of life.

A child’s cry is not merely a sign of physical discomfort but also their way of communicating their emotional and psychological needs. Therefore, parents should respond promptly and with understanding instead of ignoring their child’s cries.

*Neglect can shake a child’s sense of security and trust in their caregivers.*

When a child feels that their mother and the people around them are reliable and responsive to their needs, they develop a sense of trust, not only in their immediate family but also in their extended family and educational institutions like kindergarten.

On the other hand, if a child’s cries are consistently ignored, such as when a mother is preoccupied with a phone call or a grandmother is busy with household chores, the child may feel abandoned and neglected. This can lead to a sense of distrust and a belief that the world is unreliable, causing fears and self-doubt.

The Pitfalls of Overindulgent Parenting

Overindulgence by parents can hinder a child’s path towards self-reliance, especially during the critical period of development between the ages of one and three. This is the stage when children should be encouraged to explore their independence, as emphasized by Freud.

Children should be guided towards making their own decisions and mastering self-care tasks like eating, dressing, and using the toilet independently. This fosters a sense of self-belief and confidence. However, if parents or caregivers do everything for the child, it can easily lead to self-doubt and a sense of inadequacy.

*Overindulgence can stunt a child’s sense of independence and self-worth.*

When a child reaches the age of two and still relies entirely on adults for basic tasks, they may internalize a sense of incapability. These feelings of inadequacy can intensify when they start kindergarten and find themselves unable to keep up with their peers, whether in terms of self-care or participation in group activities.

The resulting embarrassment and anxiety can further diminish their self-confidence, making them more prone to crying and exhibiting restless behavior when separated from their parents.

Frequently asked questions

The time it takes for a child to settle down after crying varies and can range from a day to a month or longer. This is often due to unique family dynamics and the child’s sense of security. Family tensions, such as arguments between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, or frequent conflicts between parents, can leave a child feeling unsafe and insecure, impacting their ability to adapt to new environments.

Family dynamics play a crucial role in a child’s sense of security and psychological development. Parental conflicts can disrupt a child’s sense of safety and well-being, while harmonious family relationships foster a sense of trust and security. Neglecting a child’s cries or consistently ignoring their needs can shake their trust in caregivers and lead to feelings of abandonment.

Neglectful parenting can have significant implications for a child’s psychological development. Renowned psychologist Sigmund Freud emphasized the importance of trust-building during early childhood. Ignoring a child’s cries can make them feel that their needs are not being met, shaking their sense of security and trust in caregivers. This can lead to a belief that the world is unreliable and cause fears, anxieties, and self-doubt.

Overindulgent parenting can hinder a child’s path towards self-reliance and independence. During the critical period between the ages of one and three, children should be encouraged to explore and make their own decisions. If parents or caregivers do everything for the child, it can lead to a sense of inadequacy and self-doubt, especially when they start kindergarten and struggle to keep up with peers.

Children should be guided towards independence and self-care tasks from an early age, with a particular focus on the critical period between one and three years old, as emphasized by Freud. By the age of two, children should not rely entirely on adults for basic tasks to avoid internalizing a sense of incapability and inadequacy.