So what is high emotional intelligence, really? Is it independence and confidence? Perhaps being a good, cheerful conversationalist? A child with high EQ is likely to be very comfortable in social situations.
In reality, high emotional intelligence stems from a sense of security. To give a child a complete sense of security, a father’s companionship must include at least four factors.
Emotional stability from the mother
During childhood, children tend to be closer to their mothers, so mothers play a significant role in helping them develop a sense of security. This bond comes from daily care and deep emotional interaction provided by the mother. Mothers are often the first to understand and respond to their children’s emotional needs, from warm hugs to bedtime stories.
At this stage, if the mother maintains emotional stability and a cheerful state, the child’s sense of security will be intact. When children perceive this stability, they will develop trust in the world around them and in their own abilities. The presence of the mother, with her loving gestures and comfort, helps children build a strong psychological foundation, making it easier for them to explore and learn.
Emotional stability from mother.
Furthermore, when a mother maintains a positive attitude, it creates a healthy learning and development environment for the child. Children often learn from the behaviors of adults, and a mother’s cheerfulness and optimism will inspire them, forming positive habits and a positive attitude towards life.
If the mother can demonstrate patience and skill in problem-solving, the child will learn to face challenges without feeling anxious or afraid. This is crucial in developing the child’s life skills and ability to be independent in later years.
Always convey loving signals to your child
It is a fact that Vietnamese parents are not good at expressing their love, so they should learn to convey more loving signals to their children. In Vietnamese culture, there tends to be an emotional distance, which can make children feel deprived of affection and warmth.
In addition to verbal expressions, hugs and touch are also signs of love. Warm hugs, gentle kisses, or a firm handshake can convey more than a thousand words. It helps the child feel protected by their parents. Especially during times when the child feels sad or anxious, a hug can be the best medicine, making them feel safe and loved.
For emotions that are difficult to express in words, parents can draw what they want to convey and show it to their child. Art is a wonderful way to communicate and express emotions.
By drawing or creating images that represent love, concern, or beautiful memories, children can understand emotions. Simple drawings can convey profound messages.
Always convey loving signals to your child.
Don’t attack your child’s mistakes
When a child makes a mistake, many parents lose control of their emotions and attack their child’s character.
Children are very sensitive to the words of adults, and criticism can leave deep wounds in their souls. Children may become closed off, afraid to express their emotions or opinions. Moreover, this lack of confidence can extend into adulthood, making it difficult for them to communicate and build relationships with others.
Instead of criticizing, parents should use guidance to help children recognize their mistakes. This can be done through gentle conversations where parents point out the problem the child is facing without blaming their character or abilities.
For example, instead of saying, “You’re so stupid for forgetting your homework,” say, “Do you know that forgetting your homework can affect your grades? Let’s make a plan to help you remember your homework next time.” This approach helps children become aware of the problem and encourages them to participate in finding solutions, thereby developing their thinking skills and independence.
Don’t attack your child’s mistakes.
Emotionally harmonious relationship between parents
When parents argue, children often feel uncomfortable and guilty.
This can lead to unhealthy psychological development, as children carry feelings of guilt and worry, affecting their self-confidence and ability to build relationships later on. It is best not to let children witness verbal or physical conflicts between parents.
When children see their parents arguing, they feel helpless and unsure of how to handle their emotions. This can lead to anxiety, depression, or even rebellious behavior. Children may start to believe that love in the family is unstable and can be threatened at any time, making them feel unsafe in their own home.
Therefore, an emotionally harmonious relationship between parents is crucial. When parents maintain calmness and respect for each other, children will feel reassured and loved.
Demonstrating support and backing each other up strengthens their relationship, creating a positive environment for the child’s development. Parents need to communicate openly and honestly, discussing personal issues or conflicts privately.