One day, a son told his father.
“Son: I don’t want to learn to dance, Dad.
Father: Why not?
Son: It’s too tiring. I have to practice the moves every day. I want to learn to sing.
Father: Okay, you do what you like.
One month later
Son: I don’t want to learn to sing anymore.
Father: What happened?
Son: I’ve been singing until my voice is hoarse, but I still can’t sing well.
Father: Never mind, you’re still young. At this age, you should be playing and having fun. We won’t force you to do anything.
Ten years later
Teacher: We’re going to have a New Year party, and everyone has to sign up for a talent.
Child: I don’t know anything, Teacher.
Teacher: Then it’s your responsibility to sweep the floor and clean up!
Father: The New Year party was great. Why didn’t I see you perform?
Child: I don’t know anything. How can I get on stage? Why didn’t you invest in developing my hobbies from the beginning?
Father: You didn’t want to learn anything at first, and now you blame us for not training you?
Child: You didn’t let me learn because I didn’t want to? I was young and didn’t know any better, were you the same?
The father was surprised and speechless.
In fact, this is a story that many families will encounter. So, how can we develop children’s potential and nurture their interests? Is it always a good thing to “respect” children’s opinions?
“Why didn’t you force me to study?”
According to a survey, up to 99% of children have told their parents that they don’t want to study anymore.
Of course, we have to admit that it’s not just 99% of children who don’t want to study, but also 99% of adults who feel the same.
Compared to “liking to study”, “hating to study” is probably more in line with the nature of children.
But should parents always “respect” their children’s opinions? According to experts, the answer is “No”. This is because it can foster irresponsibility towards their future.
A study in the US showed that it’s not IQ that determines a child’s future, but perseverance.
Children tend to focus on immediate happiness and may not realize that not studying hard can create difficulties and hardships in the future.
If parents easily accept their children giving up, it will be difficult to build a successful future as desired. As a result, many parents blame themselves for not forcing their children to study from the beginning.
A US study showed that it’s not IQ but perseverance that determines a child’s future.
Children lack long-term vision, but parents should
American economist James J. Herman used econometrics to prove that the return on investment in early childhood education is the highest.
He pointed out that investing in the early development stage brings superior benefits compared to later stages.
For example, if parents invest 1 dollar for children from 0-3 years old, they can get back 18 dollars. For children aged 3-4, investing 1 dollar will bring back 7 dollars. Similarly, investing 1 dollar in primary school children will bring back 3 dollars, while in college, investing 1 dollar will only bring back 1 dollar. This shows that early education is a smart financial investment and a solid foundation for development.
However, there is something even more important than money, and that is the child’s mental and emotional world. The emotional and social development in the early years has a profound impact on how children interact with the world around them. Studying hard and enriching their inner world help children form better morals and character.
Parents should have a long-term vision and guide their children accordingly.
Education is not just about imparting knowledge but also about character formation and developing critical thinking skills. Rich experiences in the early years, from reading books and participating in artistic activities to connecting with friends and family, all contribute to shaping values, empathy, and creative thinking.
Moreover, investing in early education helps children develop necessary social skills, such as communication, teamwork, and conflict resolution. Well-educated children from an early age tend to be confident and ready to face future challenges and opportunities.
Children lack focus, but parents should
Ye Shengtao once said, “What is education? Simply put, it’s about cultivating good habits.”
Some parents have enrolled their children in expensive hobby classes, but they haven’t been very effective.
The fundamental reason why children don’t want to study is that the more they study, the more discouraged they feel, and they start to think about other things and lose focus.
Parents only need to do one thing: review what their children have learned that day, every night.
Ask your child:
– How many homework assignments did you have in each subject today?
– What was the level of difficulty for each subject?
– How does your child want to start tackling the homework?
– Which subject does your child want to start with?
If your child is in a ready state, they should start with the most difficult subjects first, making it easier to tackle the rest. This will improve their homework efficiency.
If they are too tired, start with some simple tasks that don’t require much mental effort. Once they gain interest, add more challenging tasks.
During this process, the only requirement for the child is to focus.
Children lack self-belief, but parents should
Romain Rolland once said that the scariest enemy is a lack of firm self-belief. If parents don’t help children develop this belief from an early age, it will be difficult for them to form this character trait as adults.
Self-belief is the foundation of self-confidence and the driving force for children to overcome life’s challenges. If children are not nurtured with self-belief, they may easily give up when faced with difficulties, leading to discouragement and a lack of motivation in pursuing their dreams.
Nurture the belief within your children.
In reality, giving up is easy, but perseverance is hard. In life, children will face many challenges and failures. The most important thing is to teach them perseverance from the beginning, understanding that failure is not the end but part of the journey.
When children experience failure and receive support and encouragement from their parents, they learn to get back up and try again. This is when children develop the ability to mature through real-life experiences, thus forming a resilient and tenacious spirit.
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