Small Habits, Big Impact: Nurturing Children’s Independence for a Brighter Future
The foundation of improving children’s self-regulation lies in fostering habits that promote independence, with gradual progress towards becoming a better version of themselves.
Reducing Dependence, Fostering Independence
This entails separating what children can control and not overstepping boundaries to intervene in others’ affairs. This concept, proposed by renowned psychologist Alfred Adler, emphasizes the importance of creating a space for children to freely grow and learn from their own experiences.
The “task” mentioned here refers to the issue the child is currently facing or trying to resolve. For parents, work, chores, and childcare are unavoidable tasks. Each child also faces various challenges as they grow up, such as dressing themselves, resolving conflicts, and learning to cooperate with others.
To avoid hassle, many parents prefer to do things for their children, but this prevents them from solving their own problems. When parents intervene too much, children miss out on learning from their mistakes or facing difficulties. Instead of developing independent thinking skills, they may become reliant on adult help and lack confidence in their abilities.
Therefore, in the parenting process, it’s essential to focus more on “who is at fault and who is responsible for this issue?” To raise a child with a sense of independence, it’s crucial to encourage them to think and act independently and take responsibility for their actions. Children need to understand that their actions have consequences, and they must take responsibility for their decisions.
For example, if a 3 or 4-year-old child hasn’t learned to put on shoes, you can guide and encourage them verbally while adjusting your approach according to their environment and abilities, instead of putting their shoes on for them.
By doing so, you’re helping them develop self-care skills, boosting their confidence, and enhancing their problem-solving abilities. Create a safe and supportive environment for them to experiment and learn from their mistakes.
Reducing Dependence, Nurturing Independence.
Developing Decision-Making Skills
Throughout our lives, we constantly make various choices. If we can make reasonable and sound decisions with each choice, we will undoubtedly reach a better place and achieve our desired outcomes.
Research has found that humans make 35,000 decisions daily. Children’s decision-making abilities are honed through small daily choices, such as “What should I play today, Lego or drawing?” or “Should I drink fresh milk or soy milk for breakfast?”
The ability to make decisions develops when children are around 3-4 years old. At this age, their self-awareness also increases, and they gain a clearer understanding of their preferences. Therefore, parents should create more opportunities for their children to decide for themselves:
“What should I wear today?”
“Which side dish should I eat first?”
“Should I play first or do my homework?”
Note that children have limited experience and may feel overwhelmed when faced with multiple choices. Guide them to make decisions from a maximum of three options. If they still struggle, offer an ambiguous answer and ask for their thoughts, such as “What do you think about this?” or “Why do you think that?”
Developing Children’s Decision-Making Skills.
In reality, our goal is to help children clarify their inner thoughts and emotions and understand their self-worth. So, regardless of their answers, refrain from denying their choices. Treat them as independent individuals who can make decisions comfortably. This is also a process of fostering their independent thinking skills.
When children can make reasonable judgments and decisions about various life events without interference, they will develop a sense of responsibility for their choices and see them through. As a result, they will likely become self-aware individuals who act with confidence.
Children who know how to be self-reliant and solve problems will grow into responsible adults who approach life’s challenges and changes with calmness and assurance. Hence, supporting children in developing these skills is one of the most important tasks for parents.
These skills are vital for forming lasting social relationships and laying the foundation for success in life.
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