According to experts, there are four rules that parents should teach their children early on to help them express their emotions appropriately, navigate situations skillfully, and lay a solid foundation for a successful life.
Regulating Personal Emotions
Before the age of two, a child’s language skills are not yet fully developed, so in most cases, crying is their primary means of expressing needs or discomfort.
However, between the ages of three and five, a child’s crying becomes more purposeful. For instance, if a child wants a new toy and the mother doesn’t buy it immediately, the child may cry or throw a tantrum.
Therefore, during this stage, parents should teach their children how to regulate their emotions and refrain from displaying disappointment in public. If a child consistently reacts inappropriately, affecting others, parents can consider the following three steps.
Step 1: Take the child straight home without scolding or hitting them in public; let them cry it out.
Step 2: Once at home, bring the child to a private space, such as their bedroom, to have a calm conversation.
Step 3: Remember the four “don’ts”
– Don’t shout or scold; instead, establish good family education concepts.
– Don’t hit the child.
– Don’t lecture when the child is crying, as anything said will likely be perceived as noise.
– Don’t leave the child alone; stay by their side to help them calm down.
By firmly saying “no” to unreasonable demands, parents can help children understand boundaries and what is and isn’t acceptable behavior.
All parents love their children and want the best for them, but even love needs boundaries and rules.
Note: Parents should take the initiative to communicate, encouraging open conversations and the expression of thoughts in a calm manner.
Resisting Temptation
A well-known saying goes, “We have one brain, but within it, there are two selves: one that is impulsive and greedy, and another that is restrained, long-term-oriented, and far-sighted.” When children are young, they often need their parents’ help to resist temptation and control their behavior.
However, as they grow older, they need to learn to manage and control their “impulsive self” independently during the maturation process.
Psychologists suggest that some “small temptations” can be used to train a child’s self-control. These temptations help children recognize and confront immediate desires, fostering patience and a mindset for planning ahead. Teaching children how to manage these temptations early on will equip them with the necessary skills to face more complex challenges later in life.
So, what can parents do to support their children in this process? For instance, if a child loves a particular snack, create an intriguing scenario to pique their interest. Tell them that this snack is theirs for the next three days, and if they finish it early, they will have to wait until the fourth day for more. This scenario teaches planning and patience.
If the child cannot restrain themselves and finishes the snack early, they will experience a sense of deprivation and discomfort while waiting. This can help them understand the value of what they have and that good things often take time to achieve. Additionally, they will feel proud of themselves for exercising self-control and waiting until the fourth day.
If children are not trained in self-control, they may lack patience and encounter problems during adolescence. Therefore, teaching them how to handle temptations from an early age is essential for building confidence, perseverance, and the ability to overcome future challenges.
Learning Endurance and Altruism
Many people complain that children nowadays are more selfish, but they often overlook that this trait may stem from overindulgence. Overindulgence can lead to a lack of self-reliance, an inability to experience deprivation or waiting, and a difficulty in understanding the value of sharing and compassion when all their demands are immediately met.
Psychologists suggest that it is possible to correct selfish tendencies in children when they are young. Around the age of five, parents should set rules, such as waiting for their turn to eat or participating in family activities where they can contribute and learn. Teaching children about sharing and empathy should be done through both words and daily actions.
One effective way to educate children is through practical situations. For example, if a child is not allowed to eat before the adults start, they learn patience and respect.
Moreover, encouraging children to engage in volunteer work or helping others is an excellent way to nurture a spirit of compassion and empathy. These experiences will help them realize that the world doesn’t revolve around them, and there are others who need attention and support.
Experiencing Failure to Grow
Nurturing a child’s “disappointment quotient” is crucial. The ability to endure disappointment is not developed through intelligence but through physical and mental strength.
Today’s children often struggle to face challenges, mainly because many parents intervene too much in their lives, depriving them of the opportunity to solve problems independently.
Training in patience and endurance must start when children are young. Parents should create situations where children can safely experience disappointment and find their own solutions to minor problems.
For example, a child participates in a sport, such as soccer, and their team loses. Afterward, the child learns to accept defeat, analyze the reasons, and find ways to improve for the next game.
If not equipped with these skills, children may develop behavioral or psychological issues as they grow up. Problems such as truancy, lying, internet addiction, defiance, or even extreme actions often surface during adolescence but have their roots in the early developmental stages.
In the early years, children need to experience various emotions, including disappointment, to understand that life isn’t always easy.
