“The Power of Parental Love: Nurturing Harmony and Abundance in the Family”

4 pivotal roles of parents in a child’s journey to adulthood

As we embark on our life path, we learn to love and connect with others, creating a harmonious interplay in our relationships. The bond between parents and their children is no exception.

Educational scholar Zheng Shiyan, with over 20 years of experience in psychological counseling, observed that many children who sought his guidance did not require therapy or counseling. Instead, they yearned for their parents’ encouragement and expectations.

What these children craved was the companionship of their mothers and fathers. Without their presence, these young ones seemed to lose their sense of direction in life.

As children grow, parents must adapt and assume different roles. According to psychologists, there are four critical roles that parents play in their children’s lives:

– Caretaker

– Guide

– Protector

– Spiritual mentor

Each of these roles is vital during distinct stages of a child’s development.

Parents should express their love freely, fostering a sense of security in their children.

From birth to age 6, parents are the primary caretakers

According to Australian parenting expert Bidford, the period from birth to age 7, before elementary school, is the “learning to love” phase for children. During this time, they require comprehensive care and a profound sense of security.

Parents should freely express their love, creating an environment where their children feel safe and valued.

Ages 6 to 12: Parents gradually transition into the role of guides

At this stage, it’s essential to establish behavioral norms for children. However, parents must strike a balance between guidance and flexibility to avoid being overly strict, which could lead to a loss of affection. Such an approach may result in children becoming timid and reluctant to make decisions independently.

Ages 12 to 18: The role of protector takes center stage

Fathers play a particularly crucial role for their sons during adolescence, as boys tend to observe and emulate their fathers’ actions to learn how to become men.

During this phase, parents should stand by their children’s side, helping them navigate the challenges of adolescence. Additionally, they should shield their offspring from external influences that could lead them astray.

As children reach adulthood, the role of spiritual mentor becomes the focal point

At this juncture, parents should candidly share their life experiences with their offspring, even revealing their vulnerabilities.

Listen calmly to your child’s challenges, but refrain from providing solutions to every problem. Instead, bestow upon them the “blessings” of a spiritual mentor.

6 essential “nutrients” for a child’s journey to adulthood

Numerous studies indicate that academic qualifications, wealth, and power do not determine whether parents will be good guardians. Instead, it is the ability to provide their children with essential “nutrients” during their development that matters most.

From the perspective of a child’s physical and mental development, there are six invaluable “gifts” that parents should bestow upon their offspring.

Image source: Pinterest.

Sense of security

When infants smell their mother’s scent, hear her voice, and feel her heartbeat, they naturally develop a sense of security. This sense of security persists into adulthood. In essence, security is the cornerstone of life.

American psychologist Erikson’s research revealed that the period from birth to around age 1.5 is critical for infants to develop basic trust in others.

From the moment a child is born, parents should embrace, kiss, respond to their gaze, speak to them, and engage in conversations. These actions lay the foundation for the parent-child relationship and are pivotal for establishing a sense of security.

If a child’s caregiver frequently changes during this stage—sometimes a nanny, sometimes grandparents, and sometimes a daycare center—this instability can hinder the development of basic trust. Without trust, there is no sense of security, and without security, self-confidence may falter.

Listen attentively to your child’s challenges.

Professor Zheng Shiyuan specifically emphasizes that individuals who lack a sense of security from an early age are more prone to psychological issues in the future. The three most significant concerns are anxiety, depression, and hostility.

Neglecting children from a young age can give rise to all three of these issues.

If this sense of insecurity persists into adulthood without proper resolution, it can manifest as depression or a propensity for violence.

If parents are occupied with other commitments, it is advisable to have a stable caregiver, such as grandparents or a nanny, but ideally, children should spend nights with their parents.

Close family bonds

British educational scholar Spencer believes that a family’s ability to empower its children hinges on the closeness of their relationships. Regardless of what a child encounters externally, a family should always be their refueling station.

The highest scores on the 1989 US Academic Aptitude Test were achieved in South Dakota, sparking curiosity among many.

Despite having the lowest teacher salaries and ranking eighth in resource allocation per child in the US, this state boasted the best academic performance.

Subsequent research revealed that South Dakota had the lowest divorce rate, with families closely bonded and upholding traditional values.

Huang Kunyan, the founding principal of the National Cheng Kung University School of Medicine, has long been interested in Taiwanese education. He reminisces about his childhood, recalling how he and his siblings would gather around their parents after returning from school. His older brother loved storytelling, and their family’s evening pastime often involved listening to his brother’s tales.

Children should ideally spend nights with their parents.

“Consider the difference between a family spending an evening watching TV together and a family spending an evening reading, drinking tea, and sharing stories”, Huang Kunyan remarked.

There are numerous ways to foster close family bonds, such as engaging in cheerful conversations during dinner, refraining from scolding children at this time, playing family games, sharing childhood stories, collaborating on enjoyable tasks, and establishing family traditions and rituals…

While parents will inevitably age, the strength of family bonds will empower their children to face the future with resilience.

Leading by example

If the primary goal of school education is to impart knowledge and skills, the core of family education is character development.

As traditional family structures dissolve and societal values become ambiguous, the influence of the media may surpass that of teachers. Consequently, the role of parents in imparting proper values and character education has become increasingly vital.

Hong Lan, a professor at Yang Ming University who frequently speaks on educational topics, reflects the wisdom of her father in her words and writings. Her father taught her to live positively and avoid extravagance or wastefulness. “If you can walk, don’t take a car. If you can take a bus, don’t take a taxi.”

When Hong Lan went abroad for her studies, she disembarked from the plane with only $50 in her pocket. However, she felt no worry or fear because her father had instilled in her the belief that “One body feeds one mouth.” Embracing a simple lifestyle made facing the future seem less daunting.

Leading by example is the most precious gift parents can give their children. Children learn by imitation, whether we intend them to or not. They observe our words and actions and subconsciously emulate us.

This is why many educational scholars emphasize the importance of parents becoming exemplary role models for their children. Before teaching your child, examine yourself first.

Lead by example.

Uncovering strengths and fostering their development

Parenting sometimes requires us to be detectives, observing our children’s interactions to uncover their strengths and helping them flourish.

Children’s strengths are often reflected in various domains. Parents can identify their interests by observing what captivates their attention, where they focus their energy, and what brings them joy. These are usually areas that children are passionate about.

By creating spaces for their interests to flourish, providing necessary support and environments, and accompanying them through learning challenges, children are more likely to develop proactive learning habits. Their motivation stems from intrinsic interest, leading to significantly better learning outcomes than external coercion.

Instilling healthy habits

All parents aspire for their children to be healthy, but statistics in recent years paint a concerning picture. In Taiwan, over one-fifth of first graders are myopic, and nearly one-quarter of elementary school students are overweight. The number of Taiwanese children with depression has also been noteworthy in several surveys.

Childhood is a critical period for establishing healthy habits. For example, encouraging a balanced diet rich in vegetables and fruits while limiting junk food reduces the risk of obesity and tooth decay.

Nowadays, many families have adopted the habit of eating while watching TV, which is the most detrimental practice for physical and mental health. According to medical research, children who eat while watching TV are more prone to obesity and nutritional imbalances.

Parents should engage in more physical activities with their children, benefiting them throughout their lives. Exercise promotes physical development, enhances mood, and positively influences physical, mental, and relational health.

Instill healthy habits.

Becoming emotional mentors

The love that parents naturally bestow upon their children is the most profound emotional enlightenment.

Educational scholar Spencer believes that emotions play a pivotal role in shaping an individual’s character. Morality guides our actions, intellect directs our methods, and emotions inspire our readiness to act.

Many admirable stories and noble behaviors in a child’s life stem from their emotional foundation.

The warmth and concern shown by parents, along with their respect for nature, profoundly inspire a child’s emotional intelligence.

Expert You Gangui asserts that parents sometimes assume the role of psychologists. There are certain words and emotions that children need to hear and feel: “I am willing to put everything aside for you, I love you, and I am ready to help you even if you fail.”

Let your family be a vibrant spring for your child’s soul, providing an infinite source of inner strength.

Being a parent is a lifelong journey of discovery. While we are born with an innate capacity for love, learning to be a good parent is a skill that requires cultivation.