A recent comment by an education expert suggests that it’s not always the child’s fault when it comes to filial piety. Rights and duties are equal, and love flows both ways.
When parents accuse their children of being unfilial, it’s important to first examine our own actions as parents. A child’s filial piety often depends on two factors.
Have the parents fulfilled their responsibilities?
Every relationship is built on a foundation of shared experiences, memories, and the way we treat each other. Parents who are absent during their children’s formative years may find themselves missing out on the emotional rewards of parenthood.
This absence creates not just a physical void but also an emotional and psychological disconnect. When parents are not present for important milestones, it becomes challenging to build a deep and meaningful relationship with their children.
While children may fulfill their duties out of a sense of obligation, true filial piety stems from a stronger foundation—love, care, and precious memories forged during their upbringing.
Relationships are built on shared experiences and memories.
For parents who have neglected their duties, the latter years may reveal a lack of filial piety from their children. When the emotional connection is broken, filial piety becomes a burden rather than a natural expression of love.
Such stories are not uncommon. A man who abandoned his wife and daughter in his youth to marry his mistress and move abroad faced a cruel reality in his old age. When his mistress left him, he turned to his ex-wife and daughter, only to be met with rejection and scorn from the public. This story serves as a cautionary tale about the consequences of irresponsibility and poor choices.
Parents are the first teachers, and their actions, decisions, and attitudes deeply influence how their children perceive and judge them. If parents fail to demonstrate love and responsibility in their child-rearing years, the children may grow distant and feel disconnected.
Do parents understand their children’s struggles?
An online survey asked respondents: “What are the most annoying things parents say?” The top answer was: “Other people’s children are always better.”
Many parents unknowingly create anxiety and pressure for their children by constantly comparing them to others in terms of academic performance and achievements. As children grow up, they may continue this pattern, comparing their filial piety to that of others, leading to feelings of guilt and inadequacy.
As the old saying goes, “Filial piety is the first virtue.” However, in impoverished families, true filial piety cannot be measured solely by material possessions or financial support. There are many other facets to consider.
Filial piety can take many forms beyond financial support.
While financial capabilities may vary, intentions cannot be solely measured by money. Some children may be busy with their careers or living abroad, unable to physically care for their aging parents. Instead, they may choose to express their filial piety through generous retirement funds.
On the other hand, children with average earning capabilities may opt to spend time with and care for their parents. Such acts of filial piety are no less profound and sincere.
Filial piety is not just about financial support. It can be expressed through regular phone calls to check in, short visits to share joys and sorrows, or simply being present during difficult times.
However, some parents fail to consider their children’s struggles, constantly comparing them to others, and setting unrealistic expectations. This can lead to pressure, hurt, and fractures in their relationship.
The bond between parents and children is not just about duty; it’s a journey filled with love and understanding.
Each person has unique capabilities, and adult life is often filled with ambitions. Parents should be mindful of their children’s struggles and understand that everyone has their own path. Empathy, understanding, communication, and forgiveness can go a long way in fostering a harmonious relationship.
Parents will also find happiness in their later years by receiving love and respect from their children and grandchildren. The bond between parents and children is not just about duty; it’s a journey filled with love, understanding, and mutual effort. By working together to build a positive relationship, both generations can find joy and create an enduring emotional legacy.
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