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4 Ways Parents Can Be Role Models for Their Children, Encouraging Good Behavior Without the Need for Scolding

24 November, 2024

For instance, parents may uphold a strict disciplinary image, refraining from displaying any signs of weakness. However, this form of role modeling can inadvertently exert invisible pressure on their children.

Research has indicated that when children perceive their parents as being too “perfect,” they tend to doubt themselves and believe that they cannot live up to their parents’ level of achievement.

A survey conducted by Harvard University revealed that over 60% of children admitted to feeling insecure and even guilty when their parents appeared almost “perfect.” They felt that they couldn’t meet their parents’ expectations. So, how can parents set the right example for their children?

Be a good role model, but don’t enforce perfection

Children need to witness reality to learn, not perfect role models. When parents openly express their flaws, mistakes, and weaknesses, children find a sense of security in an imperfect world. This helps them understand that making mistakes is a natural part of life, and no one is perfect.

For instance, many parents experience work-related stress but never reveal it to their children, pretending that everything is fine. While this may stem from a desire to protect their children, it actually creates a distance between parents and their kids. When children don’t see the true image of their parents, they may feel alienated and wonder if there’s something wrong with them when they encounter difficulties in life.

Be a good role model, but don’t enforce perfection.

Instead, parents can say to their children, “We also have our difficult moments.” This display of vulnerability doesn’t make children feel insecure; it teaches them about the ups and downs inherent in human nature.

When parents share their personal experiences, from feeling disappointed about not achieving a goal to worrying about balancing work and family life, children realize that everyone faces their own challenges.

As a psychologist once said, “When parents show their vulnerabilities, children become more empathetic and resilient.” Witnessing their parents face difficulties and find ways to overcome them, children learn that perseverance and resilience are valuable.

Be a role model, but don’t control; give children space to grow

Many parents view role modeling as a means of control to guide their children to grow up according to their own standards.

Parents often believe that by demonstrating their values and successes, they will shape their children’s character and provide clear direction in life. However, when parents rigidly impose these expectations, it can lead to unintended consequences.

For example, parents may think that because they have worked hard, their children should also study diligently. However, each child is unique, and their abilities vary. This type of “model education” often conveys a sense of control rather than flexible guidance. As a result, children feel confined within the set frameworks instead of feeling free to explore and develop their interests.

Children need space to discover their interests, passions, and abilities. When parents are overly focused on creating a model for their children to follow, they may inadvertently miss the opportunity for their children to forge their own path.

Be a role model, but don’t control; give children space to grow.

Model behavior according to your child’s personality and interests

Parents can set positive examples for their children in certain areas while allowing them the freedom to explore other areas based on their individual personalities. This approach helps children develop good qualities and encourages them to become independent, confident decision-makers.

For instance, when it comes to interacting with others, children should be taught to show respect and politeness. Parents can teach their children how to listen to others, display empathy, and respect everyone’s opinions, regardless of age. Small gestures like saying “thank you” or “sorry” will become natural habits for children when they see their parents practicing these in daily life.

Regarding lifestyle habits, parents should model healthy eating and living habits. Instead of merely giving advice, parents can involve their children in cooking, selecting fresh and nutritious foods, thus helping them understand the importance of a healthy diet. Family meals also provide opportunities for education, bonding, and creating memorable moments.

When facing failure and pressure, share your own experiences with your children. By demonstrating patience and determination, you can inspire them to understand that every failure brings an opportunity to learn and grow.

Be an authentic person rather than a perfect model

Parents shouldn’t worry about presenting themselves as “perfect models.” Children want to see their parents as real people. Parents will make mistakes and sometimes lose control, but these instances don’t diminish their love for their children; on the contrary, these experiences help children grow.

What parents should do is help their children understand that no one is perfect, but everyone can strive to be authentic. Children need guidance, support, and love, not an ideal model that they can never attain. It’s essential to help children realize that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and accepting oneself with all one’s flaws is the key to a happy life.

This authenticity also creates a safe space for children to freely express their emotions and thoughts. When children feel accepted without having to be perfect, they find it easier to explore themselves and develop essential social skills.

Open conversations between parents and children about emotions, worries, and dreams help shape their self-awareness and boost their confidence in life.