
Spotting the Manipulators: 8 Behaviors That Reveal Their True Intentions
Manipulators employ a range of tactics to gain control and exploit others. Here are 8 behaviors that serve as red flags, helping you identify and protect yourself from their deceptive schemes.
Manipulators aim to breach your defenses as soon as possible. Most people have a certain level of caution when meeting someone new. Deceivers and manipulators are aware of this, which is why they may try to create a sense of familiarity to break down those barriers faster.
1. Over-the-top Flattery: They might lavish you with excessive praise, telling you how amazing or admirable you are. This behavior, known as “love bombing,” makes you feel extremely positive, reducing your natural skepticism.
2. Mimicking Your Personality and Gestures: While it’s common social advice to mirror some aspects of another person’s personality and gestures to build a better connection, manipulators use this tactic insincerely to gain your trust.
3. Portraying Themselves as Victims: Manipulators often portray themselves as victims of any “villain” in their stories. They aim to evoke your compassion by presenting themselves as misunderstood or mistreated by colleagues, friends, family, ex-partners, or anyone else.
Their goal is to forge a false connection, making you feel special by implying that you truly “understand” them and their pain, creating a supposed “unique” bond between the two of you.
4. Attempting to Isolate You: Isolation is a common tool for manipulators. They seek to separate you from others because your loved ones might notice something amiss. An outside perspective could shed light on the manipulator’s true intentions.
Additionally, manipulators choose their targets for a reason. They know you may have poor boundaries or difficulties in assessing people, and they aim to exploit that without interference.
5. Gift-giving and Generosity:
Manipulators often try to win people over through gift-giving. Any large gift given too soon is a strong red flag indicating that something is amiss. Either there’s an issue with the gift itself, or they’re trying to gain leverage over you.
Small gifts are generally harmless. Giving someone a small token for various reasons is normal. However, it’s best to decline substantial gifts to avoid giving them an advantage. They might use the gift as leverage, playing on your guilt, such as, “I gave you such a wonderful gift, so why won’t you do this for me?”
6. Associating Themselves with Power or the Accomplishments of Others: In social situations, seemingly trustworthy people often try to associate themselves with others. They may drop the names of celebrities, boast about specialized knowledge or inside information, and exaggerate their relationships with relevant people, hoping you’ll believe them without verification.
By doing so, they’re attempting to manipulate you into trusting them based on their supposed connections to trustworthy individuals.
7. Over-sharing Personal Information Too Soon: Personal stories should be shared at the right time and place. Manipulators often do this too soon as they try to build a connection with you. They want you to feel special, as if they deeply trust you and are willing to share their difficulties. In return, they hope you’ll reciprocate and open up to them.
This is another way to create an “emotional debt” that they can cash in on later. They aim to make you feel special, only to turn the tables and demand something from you later.
8. Creating a Common Enemy: Sometimes, a manipulator will try to foster sympathy by presenting a common enemy. This could be a person, an issue, or a grievance you share. By doing so, they introduce themselves as a trustworthy friend who shares your problems. However, they use this connection to extract information from you and potentially use it against you later.