My marriage took a completely different turn than I had expected.
My ex-wife was a woman who lived very comfortably when it came to money. I worked hard, earned my salary, and handed over every penny to her. Yet, every month, the money would be almost entirely spent. One day it was on clothes and cosmetics, the next on dining out with friends.
Weekends were for trendy bars and cafes. I often suggested we should save for the future, but she’d always say we were young and should enjoy life.
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Not only that, but the lack of home-cooked meals and household care exhausted me. Many evenings, I’d return home to a cold stove. She’d say she didn’t feel like cooking, so we’d order in or eat out. I gradually felt we weren’t a real family.
What saddened me most was the issue of children.
I was over 30 and longed for a child. I thought a baby would strengthen our bond and bring joy. But whenever I brought up having children, she’d dismiss it.
She’d say we were too young to be tied down and wanted to enjoy life for a few more years.
In our intimate moments, she refused condoms but insisted on withdrawal. I wanted a child, so I reluctantly agreed. Yet, after three years, there was no baby.
Eventually, after too many conflicts, we divorced.
I thought it was over.
Months later, I met someone new. She was caring, compatible, and serious about our relationship. But my ex began reaching out—texts, calls, asking for help. I tried to keep my distance, but it wasn’t always easy.
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One night, I got a call from an unknown number. My ex was drunk, and they only had my number. I couldn’t leave her stranded.
I took her home, planning to sleep on the couch. But in the middle of the night, she appeared before me, crying, saying she still loved me and didn’t want to lose me. Thinking of my girlfriend, I tried to leave, but she locked the door and begged. I gave in.
That was my biggest post-divorce mistake.
The next morning, I made it clear: it was over. We were divorced, and I had a new life. No more contact.
A month later, she texted: she was pregnant. I laughed.
I said it was impossible. That night, I’d withdrawn as usual. In three years of marriage, we’d done the same, yet no baby.
But she insisted. No condoms meant pregnancy was possible. She sent a pregnancy test and claimed I was the only one she’d been with since the divorce.
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I’m torn. I’m committed to my girlfriend, but if the baby is mine, I can’t ignore it. Can withdrawal really lead to pregnancy? If so, how can I confirm the baby’s paternity?
I need advice. I’m lost.
Confession from truongduy…
Can Withdrawal Lead to Pregnancy?
Many believe that if a man withdraws before ejaculating, pregnancy is impossible. However, this is not entirely accurate. Gynecologists confirm that withdrawal is not a foolproof contraceptive method and can still result in pregnancy.
Firstly, during intercourse, before ejaculation, the penis secretes pre-ejaculate fluid, which lubricates and aids sperm movement. Though it contains fewer sperm, in some cases, it can still lead to pregnancy if a healthy sperm meets an egg during ovulation.
Additionally, not all men can control ejaculation perfectly. If withdrawal is delayed by even a few seconds, some semen may enter the vagina, leading to unintended pregnancy.
Another factor is residual sperm in the urethra from previous ejaculations. If a man doesn’t urinate or clean himself before intercourse, these sperm can be released, posing a pregnancy risk.
In reality, many couples using withdrawal long-term haven’t conceived, but this doesn’t make it reliable. Pregnancy depends on sperm quality, timing, fertility, and chance. Some conceive quickly, while others struggle despite no contraception.
Studies show withdrawal has a higher failure rate compared to modern methods. Experts don’t recommend it as a primary contraceptive.
If a woman claims pregnancy after unprotected sex with withdrawal, it’s possible, especially during ovulation. However, this doesn’t confirm paternity. DNA testing is the only reliable way to determine fatherhood.
In conclusion, withdrawal is not a safe contraceptive. While less likely than internal ejaculation, pregnancy is still possible. Those not planning for children should use more effective methods.
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