Why do loving mothers who want to give their children everything often fall short of their expectations? In reality, the problem doesn’t always lie with the child but can stem from the family’s upbringing.
Mothers, especially, have a more significant influence on children. And there are four types of mothers who struggle to raise their children well, no matter how hard they try.
Excessive Control
All mothers want to take good care of their children. But in reality, too much intervention makes children lack independence; they depend on their mother for everything and even feel incapable of doing anything right. When children are not given the opportunity to experience and challenge themselves, they will struggle to develop the necessary skills to become independent and confident.
Each child has their own personality, interests, and abilities, and forcing them into a mold will lead to resistance and a sense of failure. Excessive control will make children feel they have no choice and no chance to solve problems on their own.
Image source: Pinterest
When all decisions are made by the parents, children don’t know how to make their own choices in daily life. This leads to a loss of independence and courage when facing difficulties and challenges. When faced with challenging situations, they become confused and don’t know what to do because they are used to relying on others.
Meanwhile, experiencing small failures and successes will help children build self-confidence and learn from their mistakes.
Therefore, parents should give children more space to make their own decisions and provide appropriate guidance when they make mistakes. Instead of deciding everything for them, be their guide and support during their self-discovery journey.
Emotional Neglect
The inner world of children is far more complex than we imagine.
A child’s development depends not only on food, clothing, and material things but also greatly on the emotional support of their parents.
If children do not feel enough love and attention when they are young, they will lack a sense of security and may even become closed off, unwilling to share their inner world with others.
If children are left alone at home every day, with parents focused on their work, and the family lacks warm communication, the child’s emotions will not be nurtured. Over time, they become silent and even reluctant to interact.
Although they may be materially satisfied, there is a significant emotional and psychological distance.
Therefore, no matter how busy parents are, they should make time for their children. Even if it’s just sharing a meal and chatting, asking about their day at school, any interesting experiences, or their favorite toys.
Even a few minutes of communication is better than none. When children feel loved and cared for, they will go further and stand stronger in life.
Emotionally Unstable Mother
Many mothers say, “I don’t want to scold my child all the time, but I can’t help it!”
When a mother cannot control her temper, easily gets angry, and often loses emotional control, the child is likely to follow suit and become anxious. Children don’t know how to cope with their mother’s changing emotions, fear making mistakes, and may even start avoiding communication with their mother.
In reality, children cannot understand and resolve complex emotional fluctuations like adults. To them, their mother’s mood is like the weather, sometimes hot and sometimes cold, which makes them feel insecure.
Whenever the mother loses her temper or changes her mood, the child is significantly impacted. Over time, they become anxious, lose self-confidence, and even fear communication.
Therefore, when a mother feels angry or irritated, she should try to calm down, take a few deep breaths, and give herself space to regain composure. Or, when facing her child’s mistakes, she should try to guide with patience instead of lashing out in anger.
For example, when a child does something wrong, instead of blaming, say, “You can try again. It’s okay to make mistakes. Let’s find a solution together.” This helps the child feel supported and build confidence.
When a mother’s emotions are stable, her child’s inner world will be peaceful, and they will bravely face life’s challenges.
Overindulgence
When a mother spoils her child too much, the child will lack the ability to cope with challenges. They feel the world revolves around them, and someone will always solve their problems.
When faced with difficulties, they cannot resolve them and even become dependent on others’ help, lacking courage and problem-solving skills. In this way, they lose opportunities to challenge themselves and develop and will struggle to compete in society later on.
Therefore, it is essential for parents to set reasonable rules for their children’s development. When a child makes a mistake, give them the opportunity to face the consequences instead of always solving the problem for them.
Establish some family rules to teach children about sharing responsibilities. For example, let them put away their toys, do some simple household chores, or complete their schoolwork independently.
This way, children can continue to grow and face difficulties and challenges, becoming braver and stronger.
The Magic of 20 Poems: Super-Charging Your Child’s Memory for the Alphabet
Parents should opt for simple, understandable poems with enticing rhymes to captivate their children and enhance their learning experience.
Wise Parents Don’t Leave Money or Property for Their Children, They Teach These 3 Skills Early On
Parents should strive to support their children in three key areas to ensure they can take care of themselves.
Does Early Talking or Late Talking Indicate a Higher IQ in Children?
Each child will evolve along unique neurological pathways, a strategy that is the smartest for their survival.
The 3 “Failures” of Motherhood: Nurturing Your Child’s Success for the Next 2 Decades and Beyond
“When a mother understands the scope of ‘management’, she can easily cultivate virtues and healthy habits in her children.”
The Three Traits of a Future Great: A Renowned Tsinghua University Professor’s Insight
According to Professor Bang Khai Binh, parents should focus on nurturing three key abilities in their children that will set them apart and lead to success in the future.
