“The First Day of Tet for Father, the Second for Mother, and the Third for Teacher” is a popular saying among Vietnamese people during the Lunar New Year celebrations. It reflects the tradition of allocating specific days for family visits and honoring elders during the festive season. The saying emphasizes the importance of spending time with parents, expressing filial piety, and showing gratitude to one’s roots.
While this saying has become commonplace in recent years, the original phrase from ancient texts is slightly different, as recorded by cultural experts like Tran Duy Von in his book “Common Sayings.” The authentic version is “The First Day of Tet for Father, and the Third for Teacher”, indicating that the first and second days are dedicated to paying respects to parents, and the third day is reserved for honoring one’s teachers and expressing gratitude for their role in one’s education.
1 Understanding the Saying: “The First Day of Tet for Father, the Second for Mother, and the Third for Teacher”
According to cultural experts, the ancient texts, particularly Tran Duy Von’s book, make no mention of the Second Day of Tet for Mother. The original saying implies that the first and second days are for honoring parents, and the third day is for showing gratitude to one’s teachers.
One theory suggests that the first day is associated with the father, and the second with the mother. However, this interpretation is generally not accepted. Both parents play equally important roles in one’s life, and it would be incongruous to celebrate the father’s role without acknowledging the mother’s.
For further reading: Explore a collection of over 40 traditional Tet greetings and wishes, filled with warmth and sentiment.
Another theory proposed by cultural researchers suggests that the saying, “The First Day of Tet for Father, the Second for Mother, and the Third for Teacher”, is a more recent folk saying that emerged due to the tendency to create proverbs with a rhyming structure.
With the inclusion of the second day for the mother, people started to interpret it as visiting the paternal side of the family on the first day and the maternal side on the second, which made logical sense. Over time, this interpretation became accepted and turned into a new custom. Proverbs like these serve as guidelines for behavior, and the proverb in question promotes respectful behavior that is still relevant in today’s society.
Regarding the third day for teachers, the ancients explained that it reflects the Vietnamese tradition of “respecting teachers and valuing education.” In the past, teachers were highly respected and regarded as a second parent. During the first days of the new year, after paying respects to ancestors and celebrating with family, people would visit their teachers on the third day, bearing gifts and well-wishes for their teacher’s health and prosperity in the coming year.
Related reading: Discover the significance of the Year of the Water Rabbit in 2022 according to Vietnamese beliefs.
2 Interpreting the Saying: ‘The First Day of Tet for Father, the Second for Mother, and the Third for Teacher’
This saying is all about visiting relatives and showing respect to elders during Tet, the Lunar New Year celebration. According to traditional beliefs, the father’s side of the family is associated with the first day of Tet, while the mother’s side is linked to the second day. This means that on the first day, siblings gather at their paternal grandparents’ home, and on the second day, they visit their maternal grandparents, expressing their respect and offering New Year’s greetings. The third day is reserved for visiting and honoring one’s teachers, expressing gratitude for their guidance and education.
The First Day of Tet for Father
The First Day of Tet for Father
In his book “Vietnamese Customs” (1915), Phan Ke Binh documented the custom of ancestral worship and offering New Year’s greetings to grandparents, parents, and elders on the first day of Tet. After paying respects to the family ancestors, grandchildren would offer New Year’s greetings to their grandparents and parents, bowing respectfully. The elders would then give the children lucky money, known as “li xi,” wishing them a prosperous year ahead.
On this day, family members wake up early, dress in their finest clothes, and prepare offerings like the traditional five-fruit tray, “banh chung” (square sticky rice cakes), and “banh tet” (cylindrical sticky rice cakes) to visit and celebrate with their father. The father also gives lucky money to the children and wishes them success and good fortune in their studies.
The Second Day of Tet for Mother
The Second Day of Tet for Mother
The second day of Tet is dedicated to visiting the mother’s side of the family. Children offer New Year’s greetings to their maternal grandparents and parents and receive lucky money. The family then enjoys a festive meal together. This day is an opportunity for children to express their gratitude to their grandparents and parents for their love, care, and guidance.
The Third Day of Tet for Teacher
The Third Day of Tet for Teacher
The third day of Tet is reserved for visiting and honoring one’s teachers. In the past, teachers did not receive a salary and relied on gifts and tokens of appreciation from their students’ parents during Tet. The teacher-student relationship was akin to that of a parent and child. Students were expected to pay respects to their teachers even after their passing and offer support throughout their lives. The tradition of celebrating “The Third Day of Tet for Teacher” is a way of expressing gratitude and upholding the value of respecting and honoring one’s teachers.
Although the saying, “The First Day of Tet for Father, the Second for Mother, and the Third for Teacher,” is a more modern variation of the original proverb, it carries a profound message of filial piety, gratitude, and respect for one’s elders and teachers. As a result, it has endured and continues to be positively embraced in modern times.
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