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“Don’t Be Honest Anymore, Son”: Father’s Reverse Life Lesson Makes Many Ponder

You do not harm others, which means others do not harm you either. Strive for yourself, be the best version of yourself, and there's nothing to be ashamed or guilty about when refusing to help others.

Administrator

28 February, 2024

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The Story of the Father’s Advice to the Son: “Son, don’t be an honest person in the future”

My neighbor’s family has a son, and because we have been living next to each other for a long time, I know a little bit about his growing up process.

Since he was young, he has been a honest and sincere child, never daring to lie to anyone even a single word. As he grew up, he was diligent and studious, helping his parents.

He was also kind to everyone around him, but he was too straightforward. He would speak his mind without hesitation, whether it was appropriate or not. Fortunately, we have been neighbors for many years, so even if some people didn’t like it, it didn’t cause a big fuss. They would just get angry for a while and then let it go.

His university entrance exam scores were also very high, and after graduating, he was immediately hired by a well-known company in the country.

Normally, he would work diligently all day and come home tired. Others would ask him for help, and he wouldn’t avoid it. If there was an award for “Good Person, Good Deed” in the company, he would be the most deserving person.

“Son, don’t be an honest person in the future”: The reverse teaching of the father makes many people think! – Image 1. One day, his parents said:

“Doing more is not a problem, consider it as additional training.”

Afterwards, they asked him how it was at the company, whether it was good or not.

The boy replied: “I feel like everyone doesn’t like me. Usually, whenever there is a party or a banquet, they don’t invite me. They only mention my name when they need my help. Sometimes, if I’m busy and can’t help, they get angry at me. After that, they stay angry for a long time.”

Although refusing to help is normal, it made his colleagues dislike him. After hearing this, his parents felt helpless and said: “Maybe from the beginning, we shouldn’t have taught you to be an honest person.”

Finally, his parents sighed, patted him on the shoulder and said a sentence:

“Son, don’t be an honest person in the future.”

Although it is difficult to change now, it is the key for him to have a smoother journey to adulthood in the future.

Illustration Image

Let the child have their own opinion

There are some parents who, when their children do something they don’t like, get very angry and punish the child, saying that it is wrong. They scold loudly, saying:

“Didn’t I tell you not to do that? Why didn’t you listen…”

Over time, the child will feel that everything they do is wrong. And so, before wanting to do something, they will always ask their parents first, based on their parents’ requests.

Children like this, when they grow up, no longer have their own opinions. They always blend in with others, shyly hiding among the crowd.

In personal communication, they dare not express their own opinions or rather, they don’t even proactively come up with their own opinions. They think that “yielding” to others, letting others decide, will be much better than making their own decisions.

But when they have grown up, this personality trait will make others feel uncomfortable, because usually, girls and boys with such personalities will be judged as “cunning, spoiled”, being overly cared for by their parents, so they live without their own opinions and when they grow up, they have to ask others for their opinions, making others feel annoyed.

From this, we can clearly see that when teaching children, discipline is necessary, but it should not turn them into puppet controlled by others, they should have their own opinions.

Teach the child to have their own limits

One of the characteristics of an honest person is being too patient and very accommodating to others. Despite being bullied by others, they do not dare to resist.

Even when they are unreasonably scolded by their superiors, they choose to remain silent. They think that as long as they endure, things will gradually get better. But they fail to realize that there are people who will “bully” them again and again.

Today, if you don’t dare to resist, they think that you have resigned yourself, and they even mock you for being weak. Tomorrow, they will bring another group to point at you and talk behind your back, and threaten you.

Therefore, from an early age, we need to teach children to live with their own key points.

In this life, we can endure and be patient to make everything smooth, but we cannot endure from one day to another. We must be brave and stand up for ourselves. Even if you don’t want to take advantage of others, don’t let others cause trouble for you and make you suffer.

Know how to fight for your own rights

There is an old saying: “Even good wine is afraid of deep alleys.”

An honest person, no matter how good they are, must understand the principles of living for themselves, thinking for themselves. If a person doesn’t even think for themselves, how can others think for them?

Therefore, we need to tell our children early on that if they like a certain toy, they should find a fair way to get it. For example, they should try their best in a competition that has a prize that is the toy they like.

As they grow up, the same goes for things they need and things they like. If it is fair and suitable for the situation, they should have the courage to speak up.

Being an honest person is good, others may benefit from the honesty of an honest person. But the most honest person will never be “lucky” enough to have a cake fallen from the sky for them.

You don’t harm others, but that doesn’t mean others won’t harm you. Fight for yourself, be the best version of yourself, and don’t be ashamed or hesitant to refuse to help others when you can’t.

Frequently asked questions

The son was known for his honesty, sincerity, diligence, and kindness. However, he was also too straightforward and would speak his mind without hesitation, which sometimes led to inappropriate or uncomfortable situations.

The son’s colleagues disliked him for refusing to help on occasions when he was busy. This is despite the fact that he was generally diligent and helpful, always willing to go the extra mile.

The parents’ discipline, while well-intentioned, may have contributed to the child’s lack of assertiveness and self-confidence. The child grew up feeling that everything they did was wrong, and as a result, they became overly reliant on their parents’ opinions and approval.

An honest person’s trait, while admirable, can make them vulnerable to being taken advantage of. They may miss out on opportunities or be taken for granted, and their good nature may be seen as a weakness by others. It is important for honest individuals to stand up for themselves and assert their rights when necessary.

The father wants his son to find a balance between honesty and assertiveness. While it is important to be honest and sincere, it is also crucial to set boundaries and stand up for oneself. The son needs to learn to navigate interpersonal relationships effectively and not let others take advantage of his good nature.