The Key to Overprotective Parenting: Over-Monitoring
Many parents believe that their children need constant help and cannot face challenges alone. As a result, they tend to intervene in every aspect of their child’s life, big or small.
However, this over-involvement often comes with negative emotions such as anxiety, restlessness, and coercion. Passing these emotions on to children can increase their stress and limit their thinking.
Under such pressure, children may feel discouraged, anxious, and even exhausted by their studies.
So, how can we give children the freedom to grow? When parents focus all their attention on their children, it can unintentionally create a sense of suffocation.
Wise Parenting: Adapting to Nature and Interests
True wisdom in parenting lies in adapting to a child’s nature and interests, giving them the freedom to explore. Growth is a process of self-discovery, trial, and error. By constantly preventing children from making mistakes, we hinder their development and their ability to become independent.
On the other hand, wise parenting adapts to a child’s nature and interests, giving them the freedom and space to discover the world on their own.
It’s like planting a tree; if we focus too much on its growth and over-fertilize it, we may hinder its natural development. However, if we plant it according to its nature, it will thrive and grow strong.
The same principle applies to raising children. If parents can give their children the freedom and trust to explore the world at their own pace, they can foster independence and creativity.
On the contrary, if parents constantly intervene and worry too much, they may raise a child who relies too much on others and lacks self-confidence, which is detrimental to their future development.
High-Quality Education Requires Appropriate Letting Go
Self-discovery, real-life experiences, and independent thinking are the most valuable nutrients for a child’s growth.
However, in many families, strict and harsh parenting styles can be like a violent storm, leaving children confused and unsure of what to do.
On the other hand, high-quality education is like a gentle drizzle, consistently and patiently nurturing children’s hearts and minds, like a warm spring breeze that subtly awakens their intellectual potential.
Letting Go in a Balanced Way
Therefore, “letting go in a balanced way” means providing positive guidance, recognizing one’s potential, and giving children the freedom to grow.
– Avoid being too strict or too lenient.
– Show care and maintain a healthy distance.
– Focus on both knowledge transfer and character building.
– Encourage children to pursue their dreams while teaching them to face reality.
Wise Parents Practice the Principle of “Three Reductions and Three Increases”
Inspired by the quote, “Give children a free world to explore and experience. Tolerance and understanding are their strongest support.”
The purity of love lies in letting go at the right time. The depth of love is knowing when to say goodbye.
This type of love is filled with trust, understanding, and desire, without any coercion or arrogance.
It’s important to note that concern does not mean intervention, and letting go does not mean neglect.
Offer more advice and fewer commands. Provide more guidance and less coercion.
Give Children a World of Freedom to Explore and Experience
Reduce Criticism and Increase Affirmation
In general, what parents say to their children daily sets the tone for the entire family.
Positive words are like spring sunshine, dispelling gloom and illuminating every corner of the house.
On the other hand, negative words are like a cold wind, filling the home with gloom and restlessness.
When communicating with children, parents can use more affirming, loving, respectful, and understanding language.
For example: “I see your effort,” “Try again,” “It’s okay, the process is more important than the outcome,” “I always believe in you.”
Avoid denial, urging, belittling, pressuring, blaming, or using negative labels and hurtful words.
For instance, avoid saying things like, “You disappoint me,” “Why can others do it, but you can’t?” or “You can’t even do this small thing.”
Reduce Restrictions and Increase Respect
At the elementary school level, parents should encourage children to freely express their opinions, emotions, and needs. Even if these differ from the parents’ views, they should listen patiently and not interrupt or deny.
Respect their preferences and choices, and don’t force them to participate in extracurricular activities or classes they don’t like.
When it comes to choosing books, consider their interests as long as the content is healthy and promotes the right values. Avoid imposing too many restrictions, as this may diminish their love for reading and turn it into a burden.
As children grow older and enter middle school, respect their privacy. Don’t enter their room without permission, snoop through their journals, or check their social media accounts.
At the same time, give them more autonomy and decision-making power, allowing them to make choices within reasonable limits. This will foster self-confidence and a sense of responsibility.
Communicate more, understand their thoughts and emotions, and provide them with the care, support, and value fulfillment they need.
In high school, children will face the pressure of college entrance exams. During this time, parents should remain calm and rational, avoiding anxiety and pressure.
Let children organize their studies and lives, balancing academics and entertainment, and taking care of their physical and mental health. This is the true sign of maturity.
Tolerance and Understanding: A Child’s Strongest Support
Reduce Intervention and Increase Inner Attention
Wise parents, when faced with a problem, are more likely to find the root cause and work on self-improvement rather than passing on various worries to their children.
They understand that children cannot grow up surrounded by adult worries, and so they create a comfortable and happy environment for their children to thrive.
In reality, children are sensitive and easily influenced by their surroundings. When parents pay attention to their mental well-being and help them build a strong psychological foundation, children feel safe, confident, and capable of facing life’s challenges.