Initially, the body enters a state of alert, mobilizing energy and resources to prepare for a perceived threat.
If stress persists and negative cues accumulate, the brain continues to expend resources seeking solutions, leading to rigid thinking and a decline in initial flexible cognitive abilities.
Prolonged unresolved stress allows negative suggestions to deepen, causing the brain to enter a state of resistance abandonment, significantly impairing memory. Newly acquired knowledge is easily forgotten, emotional control is lost, leading to irritability or breakdowns over minor issues, inability to concentrate, and even a decline in cognitive abilities, often referred to as a decrease in IQ.
In the early stages, children may occasionally feel discouraged or experience reduced productivity, leading parents to mistakenly believe they are lazy. By the time parents realize something is wrong, the brain may have suffered irreversible damage.
These subtle suggestions are often unconsciously expressed by parents in daily life. While seemingly for the child’s benefit, these words gradually deplete their psychological energy and brain function.
Comparative Suggestion: “You’re never as good as others”
“Look at your classmate, how well they study, speak, and play sports. They excel in everything. Look at yourself, you’re not outstanding in anything.”
Parents aim to encourage their children through comparisons, but children interpret this as “I’m not as good as others” or “I’m so bad.”
Prolonged exposure to such suggestions leads to a loss of confidence, even self-denial, with thoughts like “I’ll never do well.” As the brain continues to doubt itself, cognitive abilities decline.
Negative Suggestion: “Why are you so stupid?”
“Why are you so stupid?” “You’ve done the same math problem so many times and still make mistakes!”
When children make mistakes or face difficulties, parents often react with denial and blame, inadvertently making children think “I’m not capable.”
Children gradually believe “I’m truly stupid” and no longer dare to tackle problems. The brain becomes rigid due to lack of proactive thinking practice, struggling to respond flexibly to new challenges.
Imposed Suggestion: “Mom didn’t have the chance to learn piano, so you must study hard for me”
Many parents impose their regrets and dreams on their children: “I didn’t have the chance to learn piano, so you must study hard!” “Mom didn’t get into graduate school, missing many opportunities. You must study hard to get into a good university and make me proud.”
Parents impose their unfulfilled dreams on their children, seemingly setting high expectations but actually placing a heavy burden on them.
Under the pressure of “I must meet my parents’ expectations,” children gradually deny their own ideas. The brain remains stressed for extended periods, unable to think freely in a relaxed environment, limiting potential.
This is why many children don’t understand why they study, lack the stamina to continue, or easily become mentally exhausted.
Children need support, not accusations
Each child has a different tolerance level. Academic pressure is already challenging, so what children need is not criticism or pressure, but encouragement and support from parents. Therefore, use warm language to create a healthy environment for brain development.
Healthy language helps the brain shift from anxiety to positive thinking and readiness to find solutions.
When children face difficulties and feel like giving up, don’t deny their abilities. Instead, say, “Facing difficulties is normal. Mom and Dad have faced similar problems. You can take a break and think of a solution. If you really can’t solve it, we’ll face it together. Mom and Dad will always support you.”
This support can give children the courage to try new things. Through proactive problem-solving, the brain is better trained, and potential is fully developed.
Therefore, encourage and be patient with your children, using supportive words instead of blame or denial. In a relaxed and warm environment, the child’s brain can develop healthily.
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