Parents always strive to provide a full and happy life for their children more than what we have experienced, such as preparing delicious meals so that the beloved child can develop strong and energetic.
We constantly work hard in the office in the hope that our children will enjoy a good education and a more comfortable and convenient living environment.
However, sometimes the efforts of parents to show love and best wishes for their children do not always reflect the true needs of the child. Therefore, parents’ efforts to listen and understand more about what their children want will contribute to making the relationship between family members better.
Here are the things that children really expect from their parents:
“Parents should hug their child. Parents cannot spoil the child just for a few hugs”
The love that parents give to their children cannot make them spoiled. It is only when love is expressed through inappropriate actions and gifts that it can lead to a spoiled personality in children.
Expressing emotions helps children feel connected, safe, and nurtures confidence and optimistic views in relationships. The importance of this is not limited to childhood but also deeply affects how children interact with others as adults.
There are many healthy ways for parents to express love to their children, including warm hugs, gentle kisses, spending time playing and interacting with their children, listening to their children’s confessions, encouraging and empathizing with the emotions their children are going through.
Apologies
Although parents may be right in many cases, they are not always free from mistakes. When realizing this, it is important to know how to apologize. This not only shows humility in front of the children but also helps build a relationship based on mutual respect rather than relying on power.
A simple yet powerful phrase that parents should be willing to say when they are wrong is: “Sorry, my child.”
It’s okay if you don’t want to eat
Sometimes young children go through days of feeling unwell, and during those times, they may become picky eaters, tired, and even refuse their favorite daily foods. In this situation, some parents tend to force their children to eat because they worry that their children will not receive enough nutrients, regardless of whether the child may feel bored or nauseous. This behavior can make children scared and create a negative attitude towards eating, fearing their parents.
Instead of coercion, if parents gently say, “If you don’t feel like eating anymore or if you’re full, that’s okay, we can wait until the next meal,” the child will feel respected and grateful. This helps the child feel more relaxed and ready for the next meal, and they will enjoy it more.
Parents need to remember that raising children is not about imposing but creating conditions for children to find joy in eating and thereby encouraging their healthy development.
“I want my parents to be patient and kind when teaching me”
The learning process requires patience and time, especially for children.
Do you still remember how many times your child fell before learning to walk? Children need to learn countless things during their growth, and for them, it takes time to understand, absorb, coordinate, and apply those knowledge in practice.
If a child cannot understand after 10 explanations, it’s not because they are stubborn, but because they simply need more time and practice. What children truly need is gentle and patient guidance from parents, rather than strict punishment.
It’s okay
Your child has made some mistakes. They may have bumped into the garage gate or damaged something in your car. Or they may have made a decision that they now regret.
What your child needs to hear is not you condemning them for the mistakes they have made. What they need most from you at this time is empathy through words like “It’s okay, everything will be fine,” and then gentle guidance from you to help them realize that making mistakes is a natural part of the learning process in life.
Talk to me, parents, I’m listening!
When children feel safe and perceive a willingness to listen from their parents, they will open up and share more. Building trust between parents and children is not easy, especially when it comes to personal matters. The caring and appropriate advice from parents can bring deep happiness to their children.
Parents need not only to listen but also to show empathy, avoid criticism or showing annoyance with questions that may arise from the child’s innocence or being too early for the child’s age. Imagine if every time a child wants to talk but gets scolded, will they still want to open up? Therefore, be patient, calm, not quick-tempered, so that children can feel comfortable confiding and sharing with you.
“I want my parents to be there no matter what happens”
Trust and a sense of security are like lifebuoys that help children return to their families, no matter the storms of life.
Children nurtured in love and security tend to develop into strong individuals, optimistic, and able to overcome the challenges of adolescence without easily giving up on education.
Parents believe in their children
All healthy relationships start with trust. Therefore, what is necessary is for your child to feel trust from you. Sometimes, this is not easy, especially when trust has been damaged more than once.
You should focus on rebuilding trust with your child. Instead of criticizing “Parents have lost trust in you because you have…” try to create conditions for your child to gradually restore that trust. Although your child needs to face the consequences of actions that have eroded trust, the most important thing is to focus on rebuilding that relationship.
“Accept your child for who they are, and don’t constantly compare them to other children”
All parents want their children to reach their full potential. However, this desire sometimes leads them to unconsciously compare their children to other children.
According to a study from Harvard University, children nurtured in the acceptance and understanding of parents tend to be more successful in the future. Comparing your child to others is not only unhelpful but can also be harmful in the educational process.
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