Ancestor Worship
The tradition of ancestor worship is always special and sacred, and no one is allowed to interfere with it. The ancestral altar must be fully prepared and worshipped before anyone can enjoy it. In the case where the family leader has not had time to perform the ritual, when the dishes are cooked, they must be set aside specifically for the purpose of worship.
Just like when the grandparents are still alive, when they haven’t eaten, the grandchildren are not allowed to either. In the ancestral worship ceremony, respect must be given top priority. “The heart moves the spirits and gods”, thoughts in the heart are understood by the spirits and gods. Worshiping ancestors without respect is a lack of filial piety, and there is no ancestor who will witness the worship of the descendants without respect.
Bride and Groom’s Ancestral Worship
Every event in the family, from joy to sadness, must be expressed before the ancestors. In the wedding ceremony of the grandchildren, besides the family leader performing the ancestral worship, the attendees must also perform the ancestral worship.
Before going to pick up the bride, the groom must perform the ritual at his ancestral altar, then at the bride’s parents’ house and at the family altars of the bride’s side as well.
The bride also follows similar steps, before leaving her house, she must perform the ritual at her ancestral altar, and when arriving at the groom’s house, she must perform the ritual in front of the groom’s ancestral altar. After that, the groom’s family will lead the bride to visit the ancestral altars in both the bride’s and groom’s families.
The purpose of performing the ritual in front of the groom’s or bride’s ancestral altar is for the bride and groom to introduce themselves to the ancestors and accept the ancestors as their own. At the same time, this is also an occasion for the ancestors to recognize the new groom or bride.
Avoid Calling Ancestor’s Names
In tradition, descendants avoid calling the names of their grandparents or parents. If in daily life, they have to mention the names of these people, they will change them to another word or find a synonym, for example, calling “Hà Đông” as “Hà Đương”, “thịt đông” as “thịt đặc”, “hoa” as “bông”, “quả bưởi” as “quả bồng”, “trái banh” as “trái bóng”, etc…
With the deceased ancestors, avoiding calling their names is even more strictly followed. When descendants do something wrong, if someone else calls the name of their deceased grandparents or parents, it is a disgusting act and can cause deep resentment. Because they want to avoid offending the ancestors, people always try to maintain their daily behavior, avoiding any conflicts.
When performing the ancestral worship and having to call their names, the family leader must also chant very gently, afraid of committing the offense of disrespect if they call too loudly.
Small grandchildren are not allowed to know the names of their ancestors, to avoid causing disobedience to their parents. Before giving names to children, parents must refrain from using the names of the ancestors. Although the practice of avoiding names is no longer common in big cities, it is still maintained in many rural areas.
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