“Being ‘Present While Busy’: Making Time for Your Children Despite Your Hectic Lifestyle”
Even in the face of a busy schedule, successful parents make it a priority to be responsive to their children.
Regardless of the circumstances, parental responsiveness has far-reaching effects on children’s lives and learning, and it extends to listening and seeking advice on parenting issues.
Once, a woman asked her close neighbor, “How come you’re able to raise your children so well and still seek advice from others?”
The neighbor replied, “We are all first-time parents, much like young children who grow through every experience. Parents also need knowledge to equip themselves with the best parenting practices. The more exposure we have to different perspectives, the greater the positive impact we can make.”
Reflecting on her situation, the woman felt ashamed of the times she told her daughter that she was too busy to spend time with her.
“Go play by yourself!”
“Mommy is busy, go play with your grandparents!”
“Don’t bother me, I’m busy with something.”
When life returned to normal, she suddenly realized that she and her daughter seemed to have a gap that was difficult to close. Their conversations became less interesting and there was less to talk about.
Therefore, no matter how busy parents may be, making time for their children to show concern and care is essential for children to feel loved, connected, and learn how to share their feelings.
“Hiding Impatience”: Staying Calm and Patient When Facing Children’s Growth”
Procrastination and lack of drive in children’s behavior can be a manifestation of ineffective emotional regulation, and how we respond to this greatly influences its outcome.
In daily life, it is not uncommon for parents to rush their children, from eating habits to household chores to playtime.
However, this may lose its effectiveness over time as parents grow older. Especially when children enter school age, constant reminders might become counterproductive due to the development of children’s self-awareness.
Excessive nagging can make children impatient, even rebellious, over seemingly trivial matters.
Observe that every child has their own pace of personal growth. A child may not excel now, but it does not mean they will not succeed in the future.
Therefore, parents should learn to “hide” their impatience and nurture their children wisely, refraining from putting unnecessary pressure on them.
Parents need to strive to blend in with their children’s growth process, patiently and gently discovering and enhancing their strengths. With such consistent support and companionship, children will continue to progress and develop.
“Hiding Criticism”: Staying Composed and Calm Even When Stressed”
Uncontrolled anger can make it challenging to raise outstanding children.
This is proven in real-life stories.
A Xin, an outstanding student, achieved his dream of being admitted to Tsinghua University the previous year, becoming not only the pride of his family but also a source of joy for the entire village for a decade.
Many believed that entering a prestigious school was a stepping stone to a bright future.
However, during the recent Chinese New Year, when A Xin returned home for the holiday, he seemed uninterested.
While everyone around him expressed admiration for his academic achievements and wanted to hear about his college life, A Xin said, “Now, I don’t want to continue studying anymore.”
Hearing this, relatives tried to persuade him with emotional words. Some showed him their calloused hands from hard labor, while others shared the hardships they had endured over the years.
At that moment, A Xin uttered, “No matter how hard life is, I’m not afraid, what I am afraid of is hearing my mother’s criticism.”
As the proverb goes, “A harsh word wounds more deeply than any weapon,” causing intense reactions.
Therefore, it is essential for parents to learn to stay calm and control their criticism. Parents’ behavior and emotions now will affect their children’s attitude towards them in the future.
Concealing “Secrets”: No Matter How Much Parents May Want to Know Secrets, They Must Restrain Themselves”
A foundational element of successful parenting is respecting children’s private space and refraining from invading their personal secrets.
Parents need to recognize that children are independent beings with their own perspectives and feelings. Respecting their privacy involves not only avoiding physical intrusion into their personal space but also not encroaching on their lives in undue ways.
This means not reading their messages without permission, not searching their rooms or belongings without consent. No matter how curious, it is important to exercise restraint and instead create an environment where children feel comfortable sharing with their parents.