In the journey of raising children, many parents have quite apparent personal motives. Investing in famous literary works, for instance, is not merely to encourage children’s writing skills. Many parents also enroll their children in supplementary classes, hoping that their children won’t fall behind in the academic race. They often only choose subjects that can improve grades, aiming for the best academic achievements.
When assessing whether to encourage children to do something, the main criterion usually revolves around its usefulness, especially in the academic field. However, this motive can lead to unintended consequences. When parents act from a self-interested perspective, the expected outcomes may not always be achieved.
Beneath this selfish atmosphere, one can sense the unwavering worry of parents, which will, sooner or later, affect the children’s psychology. They may feel pressured, leading to a loss of passion for learning and confidence in their abilities.
In the process of parenting, the haste in expecting results can be a cause of failure. Sometimes, allowing children to progress slowly and experiment with seemingly “useless” things can be the key to exciting discoveries that surprise parents.
Play
Throughout her teaching career, a kindergarten teacher shared that the most common question she received from parents was, “Will my child have enough time to play every day?”
When realizing that the primary activity in kindergarten is play, parents often worry and complain, “Why not teach the alphabet? Why not learn arithmetic? How will my child catch up with peers when they enter elementary school?”
In the minds of many parents, play is regarded as a “futile” activity.
As children grow up, playtime is often the first thing to be reduced.
It is commonly believed that play and learning are opposing concepts and may even be detrimental to a child’s development.
However, reality proves that play is extremely important for children. It contributes to the development of various skills and creates beautiful memories in their childhood.
For example, when children engage in the “family” game, they enjoy pretending to cook, setting up utensils, or playing parental roles. Through these seemingly simple and purposeless activities, children develop fine motor skills, improve communication abilities, and learn life rules.
Moreover, the joy that children experience during play is also invaluable. For children, these seemingly mundane acts are the foundation for the abilities and skills they will carry throughout their lives.
The joy that children experience during play is invaluable
Having “Useless” Hobbies
Recently, a parent posted a notice in the elevator lobby, desperately searching for their child’s lost collection of cards. The notice read, “These are the cards that my child has painstakingly collected over a long period, and they hold special meaning for them. If anyone finds them, please contact us. Thank you sincerely!”
This notice attracted the attention and sympathy of netizens. What the parent cherished was not just the card collection but the child’s emotions attached to their beloved possession.
Many children are fascinated by trivial things or have peculiar hobbies, and their joy comes from what is considered “useless.” Nonetheless, these emotions are often overlooked or misunderstood by adults.
When children’s academic performance does not meet expectations, we tend to ignore their hobbies, considering them obstacles, and immediately forbidding them. However, if the hobby does not violate moral and safety norms, it should not be seen as a hindrance to learning.
To ensure a complete and happy childhood, children need time to pursue what they love. Although these hobbies may not solve any specific problems, they create positives and bring optimism to young souls.
By engaging in seemingly simple hobbies, children are not only enjoying happy moments but also building precious memories. These experiences are invaluable and can become spiritual assets that children will cherish throughout their lives.
By engaging in seemingly simple hobbies, children are building precious memories.
Reading Entertainment
One of the common beliefs among parents is that “frivolous books can be harmful.” They assume that reading materials outside the school curriculum are worthless, and books unrelated to academic improvement, such as knowledge enrichment or exam preparation, are considered “redundant.” Consequently, their children are only allowed to read books assigned by teachers or exam preparation materials.
However, it is essential to understand that interest is the key to igniting a passion for reading in children. When children are free to choose books according to their preferences, they will be motivated to read and maintain this habit. The books that adults consider “good” may not always be the first choice for children, as they need time to explore and discover.
Entertainment books can truly stimulate children’s love of reading. As long as the content is not harmful, there is nothing wrong with children enjoying entertaining books. Instead, we should observe the changes in their preferences and provide appropriate guidance to further inspire their passion for reading.
Entertainment books can stimulate children’s love of reading.
Life Experiences
It appears that childhood nowadays is fraught with pressure. In the past, attending university was not the only option, and it was normal to be not academically gifted but still live a happy and independent life. Children back then knew how to fold blankets or wash dishes, and these small acts brought happiness to their families.
However, in today’s society, parenting has become more complex. Academic performance has become the sole measure of a child’s success, and if they do not meet the requirements, they often feel like failures. This leads to feelings of loneliness and insignificance at ages that should be filled with innocence and joy.
When a child wants to help their mother cook, they are often shooed away with the excuse that these are “trivial” tasks, while studying is what matters. Consequently, children lack practical experiences, self-reliance, and confidence, leading to an incomplete understanding of happiness and an excessive focus on academics.
Happiness is the core of a child’s life. This emotion often arises in the simple moments of life: tidying up together, going for a walk, or learning to cook. These experiences expose children to different aspects of life, preventing a sense of “emptiness.”
There is a famous saying: “Life itself is education.” Taking children out of the rigid academic environment and letting them experience life awakens their vibrant instincts.
In reality, there is no exact standard to judge what is beneficial or useless in a child’s development. Many things that seem unimportant now may become the nourishment for their future growth. As Zhuangzi once said, “Everyone knows the usefulness of the useful, but no one knows the usefulness of the useless.”
Finally, to accompany their children’s growth, parents should also relax and discard rigid criteria for “usefulness.” Instead, engaging in seemingly “futile” activities can enrich their children’s lives and contribute to their holistic development.
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