Experts believe that children often struggle with self-regulation when cared for by babysitters or nannies. This occurs because caregivers tend to strive to keep children constantly pleased to avoid tantrums or sadness, and they often readily agree to the children’s unrealistic demands.
Additionally, some parents tend to indulge their children due to their inability to differentiate between genuine needs and unreasonable requests. They want to shield their children from boredom or simply don’t want to hear their complaints, so they opt for quick fixes, which gradually become a detrimental habit.
Here are some proven and applicable methods to help transform a child’s behavior from unruly to understanding and well-behaved.
Alter your parenting approach
Indulging your child’s every whim is akin to harming their life and future. Thus, if you aim to improve your child’s negative behavior, the first step is to become more assertive in your parental role.
Parents need to be firm and not give in to their children’s every demand
Set age-appropriate limits and rules
Remember, you are the parent, and you have the right and responsibility to establish rules. That’s why setting boundaries and sometimes saying “no” is beneficial for children.
Maintain these rules until your child develops self-management and self-discipline in a safe environment.
If you’re concerned that your child will develop negative thoughts about you, rest assured that this is a misconception. Your child will still love you and will be grateful later for teaching them the right things.
Establish areas where your child can make decisions
Parents need to be firm yet respectful when enforcing rules. Children should learn to follow your advice and trust before starting school. These rules include:
– Staying seated in a car seat.
– Not hitting other children.
– Being willing to arrive at school on time.
– Going to bed on time.
Furthermore, ensure these rules are non-negotiable. Don’t allow your child to have a choice or negotiate anything.
At the same time, encourage your child’s decision-making abilities. Give them opportunities to decide on small but significant age-appropriate matters. For instance, you can ask them about their cereal or fruit preferences, book choices, or clothing selections for the next day.
In essence, the parental goal is to ensure children recognize the difference between making choices and following rules. You are helping them build their character, so it’s the right time for them to discern between right and wrong.
Encourage your child’s decision-making abilities
Don’t worry when your child cries
Crying is a natural part of a child’s development. Distinguish between crying as a means of expressing needs and crying as a means of making demands. Needs are fundamental and include pain, hunger, or fear, which require immediate attention.
Apart from these cases, crying is harmless and a natural response to change or disappointment.
Moreover, as a parent, you need to be patient. Don’t punish your child for crying. Instead, be attentive to their emotions while remaining firm and not giving in to their tears.
Stand firm in the face of your child’s anger
Children express their emotions through various actions, including anger. They may react intensely by stomping their feet, shouting, crying, or even holding their breath to get their way.
However, as an adult, recognize that if your child is not in danger and is merely acting out, you can choose not to react to their anger.
By ignoring their anger, you teach them that getting angry won’t help them achieve their desires. So, when your child is in the midst of a tantrum, stay calm and don’t give in. It’s the best way to cope.
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