If you fall into any of the following categories of parents, please reflect on your behavior and how you express your love to your children to avoid future regrets:
Parents who constantly remind their children of their sacrifices
Raising children is a long and challenging journey. Therefore, it cannot be said that parenting is easy, especially in this day and age. However, parents who constantly remind their children of their struggles and sacrifices will only end up putting pressure on them. Many parents often say things like, “We’ve worked so hard, so remember to take care of us when you grow up,” or “We went through so much hardship to raise you…” These constant reminders of parental sacrifices will make children feel indebted to their parents.
The pressure from these parental reminders can gradually haunt the child’s psychology, making them feel a sense of debt and obligation to repay their parents. This dynamic takes away from the joy that should be present in family life.
Whether or not your children will be filial is not determined by how much you remind them of your sacrifices, but rather by how you live your life and treat those around you. Teach your children to be grateful for what they have and to find joy and appreciation in their lives. You don’t need to hide your struggles from them, but there’s no need to constantly bring them up. Instead, let them understand and empathize through your optimism, love, and trust.
Parents who often say, “You’ll understand when you’re older”
When young children come to their parents with questions, it means they trust and rely on you. Don’t brush off their inquiries or give vague answers like, “You’ll understand when you’re older.” During their formative years, children need clear and concise answers to their questions to satisfy their curiosity and aid in their cognitive development.
By saying, “You’ll understand when you’re older,” parents leave their children in a state of uncertainty and confusion. Instead, find ways to answer their questions appropriately for their age, so they understand the matters they are curious about. Providing vague answers shows a lack of responsibility and indicates that you are not a reliable source of information for your child. If you don’t know the answer immediately, set a time to get back to them and seek advice or information to provide a suitable response, no matter how big or small the issue may seem. This way, your child will always trust and confide in you, and you won’t need to control them because they will willingly share their issues with you.
Parents who do not respect their children’s privacy
Today’s children value their privacy and independence. Therefore, parents should not intrude on their children’s personal space. Respect their boundaries.
When you give your child their own room, knock before entering, and refrain from snooping through their personal belongings or diary. Children nowadays are different from previous generations, and it is essential to teach them to respect others’ privacy. As a parent, you should lead by example and not invade their personal space under the pretext of being their parent. Ask for their opinion before making decisions that involve them, as this also teaches them to consider others’ opinions when making choices.
It’s important to view your child as an independent individual and not try to control them just because you are their parent. If you don’t respect their privacy, they may distance themselves from you as they grow older to protect themselves, and your home may no longer be their safe haven.