When raising children, both father and mother have a certain influence on their lives. However, the mother often has a closer relationship with the child. The following characteristics of a mother have a significant negative impact on the lives of children, so mothers should reflect on themselves:
Emotionally unstable mother
When children are young, they are more attached to their mothers. But if the mother’s emotions are unstable, it will affect the child’s life. If the mother is emotionally unstable, scolds, threatens, or complains about the child, the child’s sense of security will be destroyed. Being with these kinds of mothers, the child will become insecure and unstable, even experiencing psychological trauma.
If the mother is prone to worry and anxiety, the child will also be the same. Therefore, the mother’s emotions are extremely important to the child. Mothers need to pay special attention to balancing their moods.
Raising a child may make you lose your temper, but don’t let your instincts decide everything. A mother with balanced emotions will maintain a connection within the family. If a child makes a mistake, instead of immediately criticizing them, the mother should patiently ask the child the reason for the mistake and help the child find their own flaws, in order to cultivate the good habit of correcting mistakes. This way, the child will easily overcome and confide in you. The child will share more with their parents. However, if the mother is strict and angry, the child will try to avoid fear and tell lies. The child also fails to recognize their own mistakes. As they grow up, they become even more fearful, avoidant, and deceitful.
Mother with high control tendency
If a mother has a desire to control everything about their child, it will make the child lack confidence, feel annoyed, uncomfortable, and untrusting. Therefore, the child will try to avoid their parents. Many mothers think that by controlling their children, they can prevent them from making mistakes or falling. However, this is stifling the child’s freedom. It is only in the name of love, not true love, so mothers need to reconsider. The wish of many parents is for their children to succeed. However, a mother who is overly concerned and controlling of their children will have difficulty helping the child succeed.
Parents should not worry too much and try to control their children because it is not good for them. Mothers with vision will know how to let go in a reasonable way. Even if the child does everything they want, they can still be well-behaved and independent. A child who lives and learns according to their mother’s wishes may not necessarily be happy.
Overly frugal mother
Being frugal is good, but being excessively frugal is not. Some mothers believe that their children are their whole lives. They can sacrifice everything, not dare to eat or save everything for their children. This makes them very stingy with themselves and live a constricted life. Living like this does not make children feel grateful, instead, they feel uncomfortable and think that their mothers are too restrictive. This is not a praiseworthy trait, mothers. Witnessing their mothers living in misery and clinging to everything makes children become self-conscious, unable to confidently raise their heads in front of their classmates. In the child’s mind, they always feel inferior. Moreover, as they grow older, they feel indebted to their parents.
Lazy mother
If you want your child to be diligent, then you yourself have to be diligent. But many mothers are lazy and want their children to read, to like English, or to be this and that… but they are lazy to learn themselves. Therefore, parents need to be role models for their children. Children imitate their parents and those around them. So, if you want your child to be a certain way, you yourself have to strive to become like that. A mother who spends all day on her phone makes children think that the mobile phone contains fascinating things, so how can they focus on studying? Meanwhile, a proactive and hard-working mother, who continues to learn despite her age, will make the children understand that learning is a lifelong journey and that learning is never redundant.
Mother who likes to “humiliate” their children
Some mothers like to use a teaching style of criticism and humiliation in order for their children to learn a lesson and not repeat their mistakes, threatening their children. Some cannot control their behaviors, so they often scold or use offensive words towards their children. Sometimes parents scold their children saying, “Why are you so stupid?”, “You’re useless”… those words might mean nothing to parents, but they stab deep into the child’s heart, making the child curl up, lose confidence, and have low self-esteem. Because of that, they learn to disrespect their children. A mother should remember that even with their children, they should not say whatever they want or think they can say anything because their children don’t know anything. No, it’s not like that. Each child needs to be respected from a young age, and they will learn to respect others and learn self-respect.