In the first two years of marriage, I didn’t live with my mother-in-law. She stayed in the countryside while my husband and I lived in the city. My father-in-law passed away after I became a daughter-in-law for a year. We wanted her to come live with us, but she refused. She said she preferred to live in the countryside where she had familiar relatives. That summer, we sent our child to stay with her for caregiving. One afternoon, we received a phone call from relatives informing us that my mother-in-law had a stroke while taking our child out to play. Fortunately, someone saw it happen and rushed them to the hospital. She survived, but became paralyzed on one side of her body. My life changed from then on.
Unable to leave my mother-in-law uncared for, we brought her to live with us. I took on the responsibility of caring for her because my husband had a better job and earned more money, keeping him busier. In the evenings and on weekends, he would take care of her. Taking care of a paralyzed person almost always required constant presence. So, I quit my job and started working freelance online from home, earning enough for our family’s expenses, while my husband took care of other major expenses.
Caring for a paralyzed person is not easy, especially when it is your mother-in-law. Even if it were my own mother, there would still be times when I felt tired. But I kept trying for my mother because she was still mentally alert. She understood the difficulties she posed on her children, so I knew she endured discomfort without demanding too much. Time flew by, five years passed, my mother-in-law became bedridden, and I became bonded to my work at home. My husband also worked hard and encountered favorable opportunities. Sometimes, we hired a nurse to support us in handling situations caused by my mother-in-law’s prolonged immobility. But, essentially, it was still me taking care of her by her side.
Life was not easy in those circumstances, but for our family, there were no significant problems. My mother-in-law endured it because she felt sorry, my husband tried to compensate for me because he knew I took care of his mother, and I tried to overcome feelings of weariness because I knew it was the best way to maintain a harmonious and blessed family and to benefit our child.
But my emotions started to become restless when my birth mother fell ill. Although my mother was not paralyzed, she had difficulty walking and had to be helped to her feet, or else she would crawl into the restroom. We have two siblings, and my younger brother has a wife who lives with my mother. My father could only take care of himself and didn’t have the strength to support my mother daily, so he could only bring her meals. At that time, I longed to care for my mother. After many years of taking care of my mother-in-law, I wanted to take care of my own mother. But… it was difficult. Could I hire someone to care for my mother-in-law and go take care of my birth mother? Moreover, I also had a husband and child, and I couldn’t split myself in two places. My birth mother’s house was more than ten kilometers away from mine.
My younger brother and his wife are workers, their income is not high, and they cannot afford to hire attentive caregivers for my mother. The couple took turns working different shifts to better support taking care of my mother. Seeing my mother crawl into the restroom, I burst into tears because I felt sorry for my mother but didn’t know what to do. Should I have both mothers live together in one house so I can take care of both? Of course, my mother-in-law refused. Occasionally, when my husband stayed at home to take care of his mother, I visited my birth mother. Once, I happened to witness my brother and his wife arguing unpleasantly about my mother. It hurt me even more. But I understood what my sister-in-law said, it wasn’t overly demanding, and because I had taken care of my mother-in-law, I knew how exhausting it can be. I didn’t blame my sister-in-law, I just silently pitied her. I couldn’t scold her because I didn’t fulfill my duty as the eldest sister to take care of my mother.
Perhaps my mother understood my feeling, she said: “I gave birth to you, but you got married and your blessings are with your husband’s family. If you take care of her well, it’s her blessing, and she will have enough blessings. If you take care of her well, it’s her blessing and also your blessing and the blessings of future generations. So no matter what, I hope you treat your mother-in-law well. Don’t compare, don’t be pitiful and lose blessings.” I could only cry all the way home.
Once, when my husband visited, my mother said: “I hope he takes good care of his mother so that he will treat his wife well. I am not jealous of anything.”
Once, while cooking, I overheard my husband calling both mothers. My mother-in-law was crying, her voice was indistinct and difficult to hear, so it took me a while to understand. She said, “I make things difficult for my children. I am grateful to you for giving birth to a child for me.” Every weekend, my mother-in-law always reminded me to bring our child to visit her. Sometimes, when my husband went on a business trip, she would ask me to call a nurse. She said, “I make things difficult for my children. Money can be earned, but not filial piety. Take the opportunity to go be with your birth mother. I can’t compensate you, all I hope is that our son will compensate you for a lifetime, and I am grateful to your parents. Blessings come from mothers.” In such moments, I didn’t know how to fulfill them completely.
Best Wishes for Mother-in-law on October 20th: The Greatest Woman in My Life
On Vietnamese Women’s Day October 20th, amidst the wishes for wives and girlfriends, social media is also filled with wishes for mothers, mothers-in-law of newlywed couples.
Best Times to Drink Coffee: Experts Warn of 2 Poisonous Moments
Coffee is a popular beverage worldwide, once praised for its health benefits. However, many people drink it at the wrong time, which makes the benefits not evident and only harmful.
5 Foods that Increase the Risk of Stroke and Recognizing Symptoms
Eating too much of these can increase the risk of blood clot formation and damage blood vessels in the body. It is worth mentioning that these are favorite dishes of many Vietnamese people.
Scientific evidence shows that consuming these 6 foods helps prevent cardiovascular disease, increases longevity, and are widely available in Vietnamese markets.
Recent research by scientists has revealed that individuals who incorporate these foods into their diet regularly can enhance their cardiovascular health and protect their overall well-being.
