Quoting children in public
Some parents believe that scolding their child in front of others is a form of education. They think it will help the child realize their flaws and develop a strong determination to become better.
However, according to psychologists, criticizing a child in front of others has the opposite effect. It first damages the child’s self-esteem and then makes them rebellious and difficult to manage. Some children say that what they fear the most and find the most punishing is losing face.
Not scolding a child in public does not mean condoning or supporting wrongdoing. For example, if a child behaves badly by hitting a friend, throwing a tantrum, or losing their temper, parents should immediately intervene and firmly explain that such behavior is unacceptable. They should take the child to a quiet place and help them distinguish right from wrong in a timely manner.
Parents should help children correct their mistakes without demeaning their personality. For instance, if a child litters in public, you only need to educate them about the importance of cleanliness and the harmful effects of poor hygiene. You should not say things like “Can’t you think?” as it will damage their self-esteem and sense of self-worth. The way parents behave when angry also reflects their emotional intelligence.
Arguing in front of children
No matter how intense the conflict between parents is, they should never argue in front of their children. It will have a profound psychological impact on the child and create resentment towards the parents.
According to research, children of parents who often argue are usually more pessimistic about the world, more irritable, and more rebellious. They also often face problems in love and marriage. Therefore, emotionally intelligent parents avoid arguing with their spouses in front of their children. Instead, they solve problems in a gentler way. This is also a positive example of rationality and emotional intelligence for their children.
Transmitting negative energy to children
Statements like “Do you know how much your education costs your parents?”, “Because of you, I can’t do the job I love,” “Dad is always on his phone and doesn’t help at all”… are like a knife that wounds the child. In addition, they bring negative energy to the parents themselves. Gradually, the child will no longer want to interact or listen to you.
Parents with high emotional intelligence know how to leave their negative emotions outside the home. Of course, they also don’t express them in front of their children. More than anyone, these parents understand that children need to have a positive and optimistic attitude to face life. They control their own negative emotions and take time to balance themselves before projecting them onto their children.
Not mocking children
In reality, most parents unintentionally make sarcastic remarks and hurt their children without even realizing it. For example, when someone compliments your child by saying, “Your test score is 9, you are so good,” but you respond, “No, my child is actually very bad, all they do is play.” This makes the child feel unapproved by their parents and gradually becomes self-conscious and negative.
Parents with high emotional intelligence will guide their children in a positive direction, acknowledge their achievements, but also tell them that grades are not the only factor to evaluate a person, and they should not become complacent because of it.
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