The Child with the Qualities of a Future Achiever: Unveiling the 3 Early Signs

High Level of Independence

Many children start preparing their school bags when they enter kindergarten, can fry eggs for the whole family at the age of six or seven, turn off the TV when it’s time to do homework without being reminded, or check their knees for band-aids when they fall. If asked to clean up their desk, they will make sure to get it done promptly.

This “little superhero” has ingrained “doing things independently” into their DNA. They are conscious of taking initiative and being responsible for their actions.

Image source: Pinterest.

However, only a few are born with this ability, and most children need guidance and education from their parents:

– Allow children to feed themselves before they turn three, even if it means dealing with a messy floor afterward.

– When a five-year-old falls, instead of rushing to their aid, ask, “Do you need my help, or do you want to get up by yourself?”

– Give children a small amount of pocket money each week after they turn seven to manage and spend on their own.

When children ask for help, refrain from becoming their “superhero.” Instead, inquire, “What do you think we should do?” This three-second pause is the starting point for their independent thinking. Additionally, parents should assign age-appropriate tasks and responsibilities, such as:

– Three-year-olds: Clearing the table and putting away toys (shifting from “helping mom” to “this is my job”

– Five-year-olds: Organizing their school bags and watering plants (fostering a sense of responsibility and time management)

– Seven-year-olds: Frying eggs and planning how to spend their allowance (experiencing the satisfaction of making their own decisions)

Emotional Stability

Some children exhibit calm and steady personalities, even when faced with challenges. Psychological research has found that these children share a common trait – they have established secure attachment styles early on, and their frontal lobes are more developed, allowing them to quickly soothe the stress response of the amygdala.

In other words, there’s a “little calm manager” living in their brains, prompting them to think before reacting when faced with difficulties.

This reflects the education they receive at home. Their parents might have focused on the following three aspects:

– Timely responses to their child’s emotions: crying, irritability, stress, etc., especially during the first three years.

– Allowing children under six to express their emotions: “I’m angry,” “I’m scared.”

– For children aged six and above: Collaborating with them by saying, “Let’s find a solution to this problem together.”

Emotional stability.

As a result, when the child starts to feel angry, they will unconsciously think, “I’ll wait until I’m ready to respond.” This self-soothing mechanism provides a sense of security and encourages the development of the frontal lobe while preventing the amygdala from becoming overly sensitive.

Parents can organize weekly family meetings to address conflicts using a structured sentence: “Event + Emotion + Need.” For example:

Mother: “Last Wednesday, you played on your phone until 11 p.m. (event). I was very worried about the impact on your health (emotion). I need you to charge your phone before 10 p.m. (request).”

Child: “At that moment, I wanted to see the ending (event), and I felt uncomfortable being monitored (emotion). I wish you would trust me to manage my time (need).”

Final agreement: Review the situation on Sunday and automatically charge the child’s phone at 9:50 p.m. on weekdays.

High Level of Empathy

Some children seem to have an emotional “wifi” in their brains, accurately perceiving what others are thinking. For instance, they quietly offer their father a pair of slippers when he works late or bring their mother warm water when she coughs.

A study by Beijing Normal University found that the anterior insula and inferior frontal gyrus (brain regions rich in mirror neurons) of highly empathetic children were two to three times more active than those of typical children.

Empathy is like a mobile phone signal. The hardware antenna (mirror neuron system) determines the signal’s strength, but the base station’s coverage area (family emotional interaction) influences the signal’s stability.

Early independent children learn to care for their parents.

Although many studies indicate that empathy is influenced by genetics, parents can still upgrade their child’s “emotional reception” through their upbringing. For example:

– Frequently use phrases like, “How do you feel…?” to activate their empathy.

– Replace “Don’t cry” with “What are you worried about?”

– When reading picture books, discuss: “How do you think Frog is feeling now?”

– Organize family movie nights and talk about “Who is the saddest/happiest/most scared character?”

Behind each quality is a continuous learning and cultivation process. By creating a supportive and encouraging environment, parents can help their children develop these qualities and grow into confident, resilient, and emotionally intelligent individuals.