According to a psychologist, many parents misunderstand the concept of “walking with their children.” For instance, some believe that walking with their children entails engaging in meaningful activities such as traveling, camping, or visiting museums to enrich their knowledge and principles…
Or, if parents cannot dedicate an entire weekend, it doesn’t count as walking with their children.
In reality, the key to walking with children is not about the amount of time spent but the quality. This doesn’t mean merely compressing work and increasing the duration but ensuring the time spent together is truly valuable.
Parents should spend quality time with their children.
So, how does a quality friendship between parents and children unfold?
A quality friendship with children doesn’t solely mean frequently reading books or entertaining them but also communicating and interacting in the minutiae of daily life, such as eating, dressing, and conversing.
Children need not only companionship but also psychological comfort and skills development.
– A sense of safety makes children feel comfortable.
– Guidance helps children learn to tackle life’s challenges.
– Parental consolation aids children in managing their emotions when they can’t.
– It teaches children to follow the rules at home and kindergarten.
– Suitable independent space fosters self-awareness and reduces dependence on others.
– Confidence empowers children to believe in their abilities and navigate difficulties.
– A sense of acceptance makes children feel worthy despite their flaws.
– For social skills, parents teach children how to express themselves, build friendships, and negotiate conflicts.
– Empathy lets children know that their emotions are understood.
What can parents do to foster a good friendship with their children?
As mentioned, a good friendship relies not on time but on quality. In other words, parents can create a quality friendship with their children by being mindful, even if it’s just for a minute.
Be attentive to your child’s emotions and respond promptly
Think about whether you’ve ever been too busy to notice your child’s feelings. Each child expresses emotions differently: some cry and make a fuss when angry, while others fall silent when scared…
If you haven’t identified your child’s emotional cues yet, start observing from now on. This will help you better understand their emotional states and, consequently, their current needs. You can then proactively meet those needs.
For instance, if you notice your child is silent and a bit angry, pause what you’re doing and ask them, “Why are you angry? Can you tell me about it?” Typically, your child will then share what happened.
During this journey of companionship, it’s essential to manage your emotions, too. If you’re in a bad mood, temporarily distance yourself from your child. In a state of irritability, you’ll likely struggle to be patient, empathetic, and receptive to their stories.
Be attentive to your child’s emotions and respond promptly.
Don’t refuse when your child asks for help
Each time your child seeks your help, it’s significant. It signifies their trust and sense of security with you. However, many parents unintentionally overlook these requests due to their busy schedules. This is a grave mistake.
When your child asks for help, even if it’s a simple “why” question, try to be patient and listen before responding.
For example, if your child asks, “There are so many ants outside, and they’re all moving in the same direction. What are they doing?” Share what you know: “It’s because it’s about to rain, and the ants are moving to higher ground.” Or, you can observe and chat with your child, allowing them to form their own conclusions.
If you truly can’t address the issue at that moment, don’t bluntly refuse. Instead, say, “Dear, I’m a bit busy right now, but I’ll be done in half an hour. Can you wait for me?” Or, offer an alternative: “Dad is busy right now. Why don’t you ask Mom? She might know.”
Each positive response will make your child feel respected and valued. They will learn problem-solving skills and gain confidence through your guidance.
If you grasp the essence, even busy parents can make time for their children.
Stay connected even when you’re not at home
Additionally, when you’re away on a business trip and can’t meet your child in person, stay connected through other means.
For instance, set aside 10 minutes daily for a video call or to share experiences about your day. If you’re genuinely swamped, negotiate with your child—for instance, suggest that they draw a daily picture as a journal. When you return home, listen to their stories about each drawing.
Walking with your child is a matter of skill. A quality friendship between parent and child isn’t determined by time but by the child’s genuine needs. If you grasp the essence, even busy parents can make time for their children.