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The Dark Side of Pushing Your Child Too Hard Academically: A Wake-up Call for Parents

Many Vietnamese parents often have high expectations and exert academic pressure on their children. However, from the students' perspective, this issue is often perceived differently, leading to stress, fatigue, pressure, and, in worse cases, mental health disorders.

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13 July, 2024

Mental Health Disorders Among Students: The Dark Side of Academic Pressure

In June of last year, a female student in Nghe An province, Vietnam, found herself in a state of exhaustion, stress, mood swings, and even suicidal thoughts. She stopped eating, became emaciated, developed dark circles under her eyes, and often locked herself in her room.

Her parents, alarmed by these symptoms, rushed her to the hospital. She was diagnosed with depression and admitted to the Psychiatric Department of Hospital 103 for treatment. Ultimately, she had to withdraw from the national high school graduation exam after a prolonged period of intense exam preparation. Sadly, she is not an isolated case, as many other students have experienced mental health issues due to academic pressure.

1. Mental Health Disorders Caused by Excessive Studying

“Every year, the 115 People’s Hospital in Ho Chi Minh City receives numerous students with mental health disorders (stress, anxiety, depression),” said Dr. Dinh Vinh Quang, Head of the Neurology Department at the hospital. This issue is not unique to Vietnam, as similar trends have been observed globally.

A study conducted by UNICEF Vietnam revealed that academic pressure is one of the primary causes of mental health issues among children and adolescents in the country. The study also indicated an upward trend in the number of children suffering from depression, anxiety, and emotional disorders due to academic pressures.

In Vietnam, school days typically start early, around 6:45-7:00 AM. As a result, students have to be ready for school when the streets are still quiet, especially in large cities, to avoid traffic congestion. After a full day of school, they attend extra classes at learning centers, private tutors’ homes, or with tutors who come to their homes.

A concerned parent shared their experience: “My grandchild attends a full-day boarding school, which is already stressful enough. But when she comes home, she has to dive into a pile of homework. After a quick dinner, a tutor arrives at 7 PM for another lesson. My spouse and I are both busy with our businesses, so we have no choice but to hire a tutor. Even after the tutor leaves, she still has to spend hours finishing her homework. The situation was most intense when she was preparing for her term exams. The amount of homework she received from her teachers was overwhelming. There were math worksheets with 50 problems, and Vietnamese language worksheets with 30 problems, not to mention the additional review questions for geography, history, and English… Those days, we had to pay the tutor for two sessions, and it broke our hearts to see our child studying so hard.”

The National Institute of Mental Health at Bach Mai Hospital has also received many student patients seeking consultation and treatment for mental health issues due to academic stress. According to Dr. Nguyen Van Dung, head of Room T4 at the institute, these patients tend to arrive at different times of the year, with spikes in numbers at the beginning of the school year and before and after term exams.

This pressure is often exacerbated by parental expectations and a focus on academic performance rather than a healthy learning process. In a report by VTV, a leading school in Hanoi was highlighted for its lack of playtime during breaks and the absence of practical lessons in the curriculum.

While students are burdened with excessive homework, the more significant pressure comes from being forced to study subjects they dislike to meet parental expectations or compete with peers.

2. Protecting Our Children: Reducing Academic Pressure

While it is agreed that parents should not force their children to study excessively, this does not mean that they should neglect their children’s education. Sometimes, a little push from parents is necessary, but it must be done scientifically and tailored to the individual child. Based on the child’s age, personality, and psychology, parents can encourage them to develop their strengths and discover their passions.

Parents also need to act as their children’s psychological doctors by creating a comfortable learning environment. Teaching children with a positive attitude and emphasizing the value of effort and improvement over test scores is essential.

Establishing a balanced daily routine that includes academics, play, and rest is crucial for a child’s well-being. For growing children, getting enough sleep, typically between 6-8 hours per night, is vital for their overall development.

In addition to academic subjects, parents can encourage their children to explore sports and arts to develop their creativity and critical thinking skills. Extracurricular activities provide a more holistic education and help students connect with the world around them.

Educating children is a complex task, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. This article aims to provide insights into the delicate balance between pushing children to achieve and respecting their mental health needs. The key is to encourage learning through positive methods, coupled with a healthy diet and age-appropriate play and rest.

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Frequently asked questions

Pushing your child too hard in their academic pursuits can lead to a number of negative consequences. These include stress, anxiety, burnout, and even depression. It can also cause children to develop a negative attitude towards learning and a fear of failure, which can hinder their future success.

There are a few key signs that you may be pushing your child too hard academically. If your child is showing signs of stress, anxiety, or burnout, or if they are frequently getting sick, it may be a sign that they are being pushed too hard. Additionally, if your child is no longer enjoying their studies and is becoming increasingly negative or fearful, it may be time to re-evaluate your expectations and approach.

The long-term effects of pushing a child too hard academically can be serious and far-reaching. Children who are constantly pushed to their limits may develop a fixed mindset, believing that their intelligence and abilities are fixed traits that cannot be developed or improved. This can lead to a fear of failure and a reluctance to take on new challenges, which can hinder their growth and success in the long run.

Parents can strike a balance by fostering a growth mindset in their children, which means encouraging them to see their intelligence and abilities as something that can be developed and improved through effort and practice. It’s also important to prioritize your child’s physical and mental health, and to encourage a love of learning that goes beyond just grades and test scores.

There are several alternative ways to support your child’s academic development. Encouraging a love of reading and providing opportunities for hands-on learning and exploration can be beneficial. It’s also important to help your child develop good study habits and time management skills, and to seek additional support if they are struggling in a particular subject.