Marriage is a matter of two individuals, but making a marriage lasting is not solely the responsibility of two individuals. Furthermore, when in love, sometimes people have not revealed everything about themselves, and we have not fully understood the other person, so problems may arise when living together. The more we understand about the other person, the more secure the marriage will be. Therefore, when getting to know someone, don’t just focus on their wealth or poverty, but also look at their parents to understand their family and the person you are planning to marry.
If the other person’s parents lack these three things, you need to be cautious:
Choose a spouse by looking at their parents
Look at the character of the other person’s parents
Parents are a mirror for their children. If the other person’s parents lack good character, it may affect their children and even future generations. If the parents have good character, their children will receive blessings, or at least if the husband is not good, having good parents can still bring blessings to future generations.
Living in a family where the parents lack good character is terrible not only for you but also for your children. If you still choose to marry that person, you need to be prepared to deal with your in-laws to avoid your marriage being affected by the bad habits of your in-laws. Adults who grew up with parents lacking good character tend to be selfish, indifferent, lack respect for others, so consider carefully the person you are planning to marry to avoid being surprised that he will change.
Parents lacking good character is a crucial issue because a marriage can break not only because of the couple themselves but also because of the conflicts caused by the in-laws.
Parents with no sense of boundaries and a strong desire for control
When children get married, it is when children need their own lives more. If the parents have a strong desire for control and do not know how to set boundaries in their behavior, they will interfere in their son’s marriage. This, of course, affects the daughter-in-law. Furthermore, adults who grew up in families where parents have a strong desire for control may lack independence and may easily become temperamental.
Therefore, get to know the other person’s parents. Observe how they behave towards you and others. When the in-laws have a controlling nature and the husband is not independent and dependent, your marriage will be greatly influenced by the parents. This dependence will increase conflicts and tensions in your life, and may even lead to the breakdown of the marriage. So, don’t think that finding a suitable spouse is enough; marriage is not just between two people but also requires the unity of two families.
Wise and comfortable parents love their children but do not control them or intervene too much in their lives.
The influence of the other person’s parents on marriage
Parents with unstable health
Life is already very practical. From love to marriage is a transition from dreams to reality. In married life, responsibilities and relationships with the husband’s family are sometimes clearly defined. Therefore, taking care of your in-laws is also very practical. If the in-laws are sick and weak, it means you not only need to increase your responsibility to take care of them but also face issues related to finances.
Therefore, if the other person’s parents have chronic illnesses, you need to determine what you will go through, such as not receiving support from your in-laws in taking care of grandchildren, your husband or yourself need to pay more attention to taking care of the in-laws… Determine these things before getting married so that you won’t complain later because you have to take care of your in-laws or your husband spends too much time taking care of his parents. Moreover, if the parents are not healthy, they may pass on certain diseases or bad habits, which will bring physical and psychological burdens to their children.
When looking for a life partner, if the other person’s parents are not healthy or have serious illnesses, you need to consider whether that person can take on responsibilities in the future or not. Because this can make your life unhappy.
Choosing a spouse means choosing their whole family, which is very realistic. No matter how modern life becomes, children cannot be separated from their parents. If children completely separate from their parents, the family will not have blessings. However, if children do not separate from their parents, it is even more necessary to determine the responsibilities of each person. When becoming a daughter-in-law, you step into a new family environment, so you need to understand, determine, and mentally prepare to embrace a new family, which will make it easier to stabilize your marriage.
