American-German psychologist Erik Erikson believed that a child’s early experiences have an 80% impact on their future. Specifically, the first three years of a child’s life are known as the “golden years,” which is the most crucial period for the formation of a child’s personality and character.
Psychologist Reveals the “Golden 3 Years” in a Child’s Life
1. Nurturing Trust in a 1-Year-Old
Is a 1-year-old baby clueless and incapable? Not at all.
When Professor Li Meijin talks about raising children from 0-3 years old, she says, “Although the first year of raising a child is tough and exhausting, no matter how tired the mother is, she has to take care of the child herself.”
Why? Professor Li Meijin explains, “Soon after giving birth, the mother wants to ‘dump’ the child with the grandparents because she’s busy with work. Therefore, in the future, whenever the child feels sad, the first person they want to meet is the grandmother.”
American-German psychologist Erik Erikson refers to the ages of 0-1.5 as the first stage of life. During this stage, the most important task for the child is to develop a sense of trust.
At the start of life, a child forms a deep attachment to this “person” and builds a sense of trust. A child’s trust in the world, as well as their self-confidence, all come from this primary caretaker.
Therefore, in the first year of a child’s life, even though they can’t speak, walk, or do anything significant, their personality is already starting to form. If a mother wants her child to be more obedient and closer to her in the future, she should at least nurture the child until they are 1 year old.
2. Fostering Independence in a 2-Year-Old
By the age of 2, a child can talk, walk, and do various tasks. The ages of 1.5-3 are the second stage of the “eight stages of life.”
During this stage, the main developmental task is to achieve a “sense of autonomy.”
If you have a child around 2 years old, keeping the house clean and tidy is truly challenging! You sweep the floor, and the baby messes it up again. You fold clothes, and the baby immediately “helps” by throwing them on the ground one by one.
What is the baby doing? In reality, the little one just wants to achieve a sense of autonomy by controlling their own body.
This is the joy of a 1-3-year-old child, to have a sense of autonomy and be able to control their movements freely.
If during this stage, parents are more tolerant and patient, allowing the child to explore more, the child can develop a stronger sense of autonomy.
But if during this stage, parents don’t allow the child to do this, even “slapping” the child’s hand, the child will feel “shame” and lack self-confidence. As they grow older, the child may feel insecure and easily give up when faced with difficulties.
3. Cultivating Initiative in a 3-Year-Old
Psychologists believe that 3 years old is a turning point in a child’s life.
Prior to the age of 3, a child’s life is often dominated by their parents, but after 3 years old, they hope to be in control of everything themselves.
According to Erik Erikson, the third stage in life is the development of a sense of initiative.
During this stage, the child has their own ideas and doesn’t want to be constantly “instructed” on what to do.
I saw a baby on the internet who wanted to help their mother put the lunchbox in the bag but accidentally dropped it. When the mother passed by and saw the food scattered on the ground, she didn’t lose her composure, nor did she scold the child. She gently hugged her daughter and asked, “Did you accidentally drop it? Be more careful next time!” After saying this, the mother asked the child not to wander around randomly to avoid slipping and falling. The mother then found a cloth to clean up.
The handling method of this mother is amazing! When a child is 3 years old, what they like to do the most is help, even though they are still “clumsy” and often “not helpful.”
If parents handle things like the mother mentioned above, the child won’t feel “guilty.” On the contrary, the child will have a “sense of initiative” in constantly exploring.
A child with a proactive mindset will have goals and plans to accomplish things in their future life. Moreover, the child will be very confident, and when faced with difficulties, they will feel capable of finding a solution.
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