Some people believe that calling each other by name is perfectly normal. However, others argue that this form of address creates distance and dryness in a relationship, lacking the warmth that should be present in marriage. “My husband and I always call each other ‘honey’ or sometimes joke around with ‘old man’ and ‘old woman.’ It’s fun,” shared a netizen. Another person commented, “Calling each other by name is like drawing a boundary. I prefer being called ‘sweetheart.'”
Many couples even come up with creative ways to address each other, using terms of endearment like “baby” in the morning and “hubby” in the evening, filling their married life with laughter and novelty.
In reality, something as seemingly insignificant as the choice of address can be a clear indicator of the emotional state of a marriage. From the perspective of those with experience, there are at least three reasons why spouses should avoid frequently calling each other by their given names.
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1. When the warmth fades from your greetings, distance grows between you
During the passionate dating phase, terms of endearment like “honey,” “dear,” or “sweetheart” are not just habits but also expressions of intense affection. Each syllable conveys care and emotion.
However, as couples settle into married life with its daily grind, many lose their sense of romance. The sweet nothings fade away, and they start addressing each other by their given names, which can sound cold, monotonous, or even indifferent, with some resorting to impersonal terms like “hey” or “hey there.”
This subtle shift, if allowed to persist, can create a sense of estrangement. When couples refer to each other as strangers might, their affection inevitably cools. As one online commenter observed, “The way we address each other reflects the warmth of our relationship. When that warmth disappears, so does the intimacy.”
2. Using names blurs the unique roles within the family
In a family, the way spouses address each other also establishes their respective roles and positions. When a wife calls her husband “dad” or “father,” it’s not just a term of address but also an expression of her trust and reliance on him as a pillar of support. Conversely, when the husband refers to his wife as “mom” or “mother,” he acknowledges and appreciates her sacrifices and contributions to the family.
Replacing these titles with given names obscures the unique roles within the family. The wife may feel less protected, and the husband may lose his sense of being the family’s anchor. Over time, their emotional connection and understanding of each other may diminish.
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3. Names lack the sense of “uniqueness,” and love may fade
While names are personal identifiers, what matters in love is not just identity confirmation but also the feeling of being special and cherished. Terms of endearment like “baby,” “hubby,” or “dear” convey intimacy and closeness, something that using given names fails to achieve.
A netizen shared her experience: “When my husband started calling me by my name, I felt uneasy. Initially, I thought he might be tired from work, but the distance between us kept growing. One day, I asked him, ‘After all these years of marriage, what do you think has changed the most between us?’ After a moment of silence, he replied, ‘Maybe… we’ve become more formal with each other.’ At that moment, I realized we had lost the closeness we once had. When our privacy was eroded by normalcy, love turned into mere obligation. Without special nicknames or sweet nothings, our love quietly slipped away.”
Married life is full of challenges and ups and downs. But a timely term of endearment can soothe many hurts. You may not need roses or gifts, but a “sweetheart,” “darling,” or “my love” can mend and warm your heart.
As a writer once penned, “Love is not about giving your best but about offering something unique, proving your worth in your partner’s heart.”
So, whether you’ve been together for a year or three decades, don’t hesitate to use nicknames and pet names that only the two of you share. In the vast sea of people, if you still love each other, call each other by names that stir your hearts.
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