Not every child is born well-behaved and easy to handle. Some children are more stubborn and difficult to manage. They often assert their independence, making their parents angry and disappointed. But no matter what their parents do, they still calmly do what they want, even if it means standing up to protect their self.
With such children, physical punishment and yelling are not effective measures. Parents can try applying the following methods that can make a difficult child more obedient.
Avoid scaring the child with terrifying words
Parents should avoid mocking or ridiculing when the child makes a mistake. Do not repeat many times or interrogate them. It is best to give the child a quiet space to reflect on their actions and words, from which the child can easily absorb the parents’ words.
When angry, explaining or talking to the child will also make it difficult for parents to maintain their calmness. The child is not awake enough to listen or absorb opinions from adults. So give both sides enough time to calm down before talking to the child.
Express your own emotions and acknowledge the child’s feelings
If the child annoys you and you realize the anger in you is rising, choose to express your own emotions at 3 levels: “I am not happy with the way you are doing”, “I am very angry”, “I am about to go crazy”. This will be more effective than venting anger on the child.
Many parents focus on scolding their children, but instead, share and communicate with the child about their own emotions with a calm attitude.
At the same time, parents need to acknowledge the child’s feelings like “You’re not happy, are you?”, “Mom and Dad understand your feelings right now”,…
Never get angry with the child in front of others
When scolded in a crowded place, the child will feel embarrassed and rebellious from that moment. Parents need to find the right time to teach and guide their children, making the child feel that even if parents are angry, they still maintain their dignity, and the child will reduce their confrontational attitude.
Comfort the child when possible
For young children, sometimes a kiss, a hug, or the phrase “Mom loves you” can immediately soothe their grievances. For older children, a conversation is necessary.
Before scolding the child, parents should ask themselves if doing so helps the child improve their behavior and manners.
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