How Men Handle Long-Distance “Desires”: 3 Genuine Accounts

According to a survey, a man cannot resist "loving" for more than 3 weeks, as if he refrains for too long, he will experience feelings of frustration and headaches, affecting his health.

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Hoàng Quân, 27-year-old media employee, married for 2 years

Due to the unsuitability of pursuing a career in media in the countryside, Hoàng Quân decided to move to the city for work after being married for 1 year. He believed that the income in the city would provide some financial stability to support his family back in the countryside. He chose to leave his wife at home to take care of their child.

The bond between Hoàng Quân and his wife is strong. They communicate through Facetime every day and meet in person once a month. They always strive to overcome challenges for the sake of their family. Hoàng Quân hopes to save enough money to open a small shop in the countryside. Currently, he is managing to support himself, but he is uncertain about the future. Whenever he misses his wife, he often dreams or engages in self-pleasure to relieve the longing in his heart.

How Men Far from Their Wives Satisfy Their Needs

Trần Tuấn Anh, 33-year-old, married for 5 years

We got married through a matchmaking arrangement, but our relationship is still strong. We have two children, but due to work assignments, I have to be away from my wife for some time. I send most of my monthly salary back to my wife, probably around 80%.

Being far away from home, men undoubtedly experience feelings of emptiness and loneliness. It is normal for physical needs to arise. I was able to control it during the first few years of working abroad, but I have “slipped up” in the past 2 years. I always remind myself that it is just fulfilling personal needs and not letting it affect my family. There have been many times when I feel guilty towards my wife, but that’s life, and it cannot be avoided.

Nguyễn Trần Hùng, 35-year-old, married for 10 years

The separation of two individuals in two different places is a challenge for the patience of lovers. No matter how good the husband-wife relationship is, it is difficult to guarantee that no issues will arise. We are all “mere mortals” and cannot withstand too many trials. My younger brother is away from home all year round, and his workplace is also quite challenging. But in return, he earns a high income.

Men Having Affairs

Being in a foreign land, it is extremely difficult to find joy outside of work hours. However, after being away for more than a year, I became involved in an extramarital relationship with a woman who is also married and came to work in the same place as me. We comforted each other to get through the lonely days in a foreign land. My friend and I made a commitment that once our work contracts were over, we would go our separate ways and never disturb each other again.

Frequently asked questions

Trần Tuấn Anh, 33 years old, maintains a strong relationship with his wife despite their marriage being arranged. Due to work assignments, he is away from his wife and their two children. He sends approximately 80% of his monthly salary to support his family. Tuấn Anh experiences feelings of emptiness and loneliness, and while he controlled his physical needs initially, he has “slipped up” in the past two years. He reminds himself that it’s about fulfilling personal needs without affecting his family and often feels guilty about his actions.

Nguyễn Trần Hùng, 35, acknowledges the difficulty of maintaining a long-distance relationship, especially with his younger brother being away from home year-round. He expresses that even a good husband-wife relationship can be tested by distance and life challenges. While abroad, Hùng struggled to find joy outside of work and eventually had an extramarital affair with a married woman. They provided each other comfort and agreed to part ways once their work contracts ended.
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