Chị Tâm, 32 years old, living in Hanoi, says “I want to seek revenge on my husband for having an affair”
In modern life, men in today’s society are often involved in extramarital relationships, neglecting their wives and children, leading to a stagnant and broken married life. Sometimes, women have affairs because of their husband’s actions. They feel inferior and want to prove to their husbands that even if he doesn’t love me, there are countless other men out there who will cherish and adore me.
Tam, an office worker in Hanoi, shares: “When I found out about my husband’s affair, I was truly devastated and wondered what I did wrong. I am an educated, career-oriented, and attractive woman. I also take care of the household chores and our children, so why did he abandon me for another woman? Thinking like that, I don’t want to feel defeated. I want to show him my worth, that even without him, there are countless other men out there lining up to be with me. Although my marriage has ended now, I don’t regret my affair because he was the one who destroyed it first.“
What do women who have affairs expect?
Chi Thanh, 30 years old, a bank employee, says “I feel lonely in my marriage and need someone to share joys and sorrows with”
Many people believe that women have affairs because they crave sexual desires, due to their husband’s impotence or lack of excitement in bed, causing them to seek other men. They sneak around to satisfy their desires. However, in reality, few people know that what women truly need is sharing, love, and emotional companionship. Most women, when they love, get married, or have affairs, are looking for someone to share their lives with, not just for the sake of sex, as many men often think.
Thanh, a bank employee living in District 7, Ho Chi Minh City, shares: “I feel truly lonely in my own marriage. My husband goes out every night and never cares about my emotions. When I express my frustration, he tells me I complain too much or that my demands make him tired. Once, I fell off my bike and called him to pick me up because my leg was hurting and I couldn’t ride home. But he only said, ‘Take a taxi, I’m busy.’ When that happened, I wondered why I got married? And then I met my friend’s companion. He saw the sadness in my eyes. He could share everything with me in life. I felt like I was being cherished and spoiled, just like when I was in my twenties. I truly felt moved. I can’t get a divorce because I don’t want our children to suffer.“
What do women who have affairs desire the most?
Chi Trang, 28 years old, a media employee in Thanh Xuan, Hanoi, says “I starved for it when I was only 20 and thought I would remain craving for a hundred years like a frustrated old woman”
Everyone, including women, has needs and desires for physical intimacy. Women also have sexual desires like men. They also want to experience the feeling of being desired and longed for. In reality, some women have higher needs than their partners. When their desires are not satisfied, it drives them to seek external relationships to fulfill their unmet needs. If they have been starved for too long, they want to be close to someone.
Trang, 28 years old, an employee at a media company in Hanoi, confesses: “ I know betrayal is a terrible thing. If my husband found out, I would lose everything. But to be honest, I can’t take it anymore. My husband, even though he’s only 30 years old, 2 years older than me, lives like a monk. He hasn’t touched me for a month. And when he does, it’s never more than 5 minutes. I suggested that he get his reproductive health checked, but he felt humiliated and yelled at me, saying that I’m a lascivious woman who only craves for that. And he stubbornly refused to see a doctor. I endured 4 years of coldness in our intimate relationship, until the day I attended a company party and met a business partner. We were instantly attracted to each other, and one thing led to another. Once it happened, I couldn’t stop. In the end, our marriage fell apart because of my affair. But I truly have no regrets. Everyone has the right to pursue happiness, right?“
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