When it comes to emotions, every parent has love for their child and wishes for their child to have luck, convenience, and success. But what is the right way to love is not something everyone knows. Many people claim to have love but end up controlling and invading their child’s privacy, making decisions for their child. Others are so worried and protective of their child that they do everything for them, thus stripping their child of their independence, so when their child leaves their embrace they are deceived, manipulated and led astray… That’s why we don’t judge whether you love your child or not, but we just want to offer opinions to help us adjust the way we love, which way will help our child have a more solid future.
Being overly protective, not allowing the child to stand up
This is a sign of a loving parent but not calm and wise enough. If you see your child fall, you immediately lift them up, thus suppressing their self-defense instincts. If you hear someone say something about your child, without seeing your child’s reaction to teach them, you immediately make your own decision. Blind concern, excessive fear of letting the child socialize, excessively sterilizing the child is harmful. A baby who doesn’t know how to stand up and walk will need someone to pick them up next time. But are parents always there to do that? You love your child but you have to anticipate situations, how to love so that your child can have wings, not just having your child on your hand and flying for them.
Don’t solve everything for your child, let your child solve their own life with their own methods first. Then you can consult your child about your own plan and let your child choose.
Imposing and intervening in every decision
Parents often have the mentality that their child is young and makes mistakes, so they make decisions for their child, even if their child doesn’t like it. Many people always want their child to act according to their own will, even in the name of silently loving and deciding many things for their child until their child discovers it, there is no opportunity to fix it.
This makes the child feel restricted and want to avoid their parents. Many people think that they are right because they are older and make decisions, but their child is not right, they don’t do what they say then it’s a mistake and suffering. But they don’t know that we and our child are two separate individuals, the tolerance and acceptance of everything are different. So please respect the rights of your child and their individuality. When parents impose too much on their children, they become scared and distant. In another way, the child will lose the ability to resist. This makes the child’s life only follow the will of their parents and when their parents let go, the child doesn’t have any right decisions, doesn’t have the right judgment, or they will become overly independent to compensate for the time they were suppressed and fall.
Therefore, we need to respect the child as an independent individual from us. We give birth to them but we don’t own them. We love them but we can’t suppress them according to our will. Children need to be respected and learn how to make decisions for themselves, even make mistakes so that they can grow up.
Unable to control emotions when facing the child
When parents cannot control their emotions, being too happy about their child’s achievements or too easily getting angry when their child makes mistakes, it is not good. Dealing with problems calmly will be better, and your calmness will help your child not be afraid, help your child learn that. Unable to control emotions is very harmful, making children easily lose their calmness, making it difficult for them to build trust, confidence, and comfort for others. Therefore, many people will stay away from those who are difficult to control their emotions.
The negative emotions of parents will affect their children. Parents who constantly complain, always stay calm in unforeseen circumstances will make their children learn. These things make it difficult for children to deal with their own problems when they grow up. That’s why parents need to learn how to control their emotions. Calmness is also a part of assets for success. Because calmness helps people see things more insightfully.
Parents and children should be friends with each other, not possess each other, the older their child is, the more they need their freedom. When you give your child enough freedom, your child will trust you and share more with you when you control them. But parents who have successful children don’t control their children, they treat them equally.
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