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If my child asks if our family is poor, how would you respond? It’s crucial to determine how you answer as it will greatly impact our child’s future.

Children can ask unexpected questions that parents may not anticipate. It is important not to give hasty answers, as they can have a significant impact on the child.

Administrator

8 March, 2024

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During the process of development, children will ask many questions. Some questions may be about nature, while others may be related to cognition and psychology in the future… Therefore, parents need to be careful when answering, avoiding neglecting or answering quickly.

In particular, children may ask questions that you find difficult to handle, such as those related to the family’s finances.

How parents talk to children about money and poverty is crucial

There is a story about a father who, upon hearing his child’s question about the family’s financial situation, replied that their family is not poor. He explained that they didn’t exchange houses for a larger one because they are currently happy and comfortable in their current home. They don’t buy expensive shoes because their current shoes are still very comfortable, and they prefer to use their money for more meaningful things, such as saving for the child’s college education or helping others…

In this situation, how would you answer your child? Do you think the father’s response is worth learning from?

The way parents answer can shape the child’s thinking. It will determine whether the child knows how to spend money reasonably and how to deal with money. If you try to hide your poverty and lie about your wealth, saying that your family is rich and promising your child that they can have whatever they want if they are like you, it unintentionally turns your child into a materialistic person, chasing after appearances. But if you want to emphasize that your family is really poor in order to discourage your child’s demands and encourage them to strive for something better, your child will become self-conscious around friends and others, always feeling insecure. Both of these states have negative consequences for the child’s development.

Don’t say your family is poor, but also don’t pretend to be rich

Therefore, parents can take note of and consider the following:

Don’t lie that you are rich, but also don’t exaggerate your poverty to your child

Many parents are afraid that their child will live a luxurious lifestyle, so they often say that their family is poor. They complain about not having money or they tell stories of hardship to their child. Many parents consider this a way to discourage their child from making demands. However, they don’t realize that these words imprint feelings of helplessness and fatigue, creating mental pressure and constant exposure to negative energy for the child. Furthermore, it is not a positive mindset at all. Sometimes, you may think it is a motivation for your child to strive, but for the child, it becomes pressure and self-doubt.

If your child makes demands, guide them towards a more meaningful reason to spend money on something else instead of saying “our family doesn’t have money” or “our family is very poor”. Instead, say “Mom and Dad think we need to buy this thing first.” Feeling insecure and self-conscious can follow the child throughout their life, and they may never dare to express themselves openly.

On the other hand, some parents lie about being rich to make their child happy and to avoid facing reality, pretending to be well-off. In this case, your child may develop spoiled and arrogant demands. Sometimes, they may brag to their friends without knowing that their parents are just “putting on a show”.

Parents should teach children about money from an early age

– When your child asks about money, teach them about money early on. Even if your child doesn’t ask, you should still teach them about money. Many people think that teaching children about money is utilitarian, but money is a practical reality that greatly influences a child’s awareness and future way of life.

– Let your child know where money comes from: Explain that money comes from the value of labor. So, to have money, you have to work. Children also need to work within their abilities and age instead of thinking that everything is readily provided by their parents. You can guide your child to do some chores at home to earn spending money, so they will understand that earning money is not easy.

– Guide your child on how to use money: The first step in teaching a child to spend money wisely is to help them differentiate between “needs” and “wants”. Children often want before they need. So, analyze and help them understand if what they want is really necessary, how it will be used, etc. This will help the child understand the meaningfulness of how money is spent.

– Parents should give their child a monthly allowance and guide them in budgeting and planning their expenses, rather than giving them money daily.

Money is extremely important in life. However, perspectives on money are even more important because they influence a child’s way of thinking and behavior in the future. Therefore, be careful when talking to your child about money and when dealing with money-related matters.

Frequently asked questions

Discussions about money and financial status can be delicate. Parents should strive for honesty without inducing feelings of helplessness or creating a sense of entitlement. Exaggerating wealth or poverty can lead to negative consequences, such as materialism or insecurity. It is essential to teach children the value of money, the importance of earning it, and how to spend it wisely.

Parents’ answers can significantly influence their children’s understanding of money and its role in their lives. If parents lie about their wealth or poverty, it may lead to children becoming materialistic or insecure, respectively. Teaching children about the value of money and guiding them to spend it wisely will help them develop a healthy relationship with finances.

Rather than focusing on financial limitations, parents can redirect their children’s demands by saying, “Mom and Dad think we need to buy this thing first.” This approach teaches children about budgeting and prioritization without inducing feelings of insecurity. It is essential to strike a balance between honesty and creating a positive mindset around finances.

Money is a practical reality that greatly influences a person’s awareness and future way of life. Teaching children about money early on helps them understand its value and how it is earned. By guiding children to do chores and earn an allowance, parents can instill a sense of financial responsibility and help them develop a healthy relationship with money.

Parents can start by explaining that money is earned through labor and that everyone, including children, should contribute within their abilities. To teach wise spending, help children differentiate between “needs” and “wants.” Guide them to understand if their desires are necessary and how they will use what they are asking for. Additionally, providing a monthly allowance and helping them budget and plan their expenses will foster financial literacy and responsibility.