School grades and small achievements are not entirely meaningless. They have certain meanings with the child’s life and development. However, that’s not all and not just chasing grades. Parents should pay attention to the following things to help their children develop better in the future:
But the child is persistent
Dr. Michele Borba is a renowned international educational psychologist who believes that persistence is the number one soft skill that creates highly successful children.
Persistence is also a characteristic of successful people. Persistence helps people not to get discouraged and give up when faced with failure. Persistent children believe that effort will be rewarded and continue to pursue their goals. Persistence creates motivation to work hard and delve into the subject, following their own goals. Persistence helps overcome barriers. Persistence helps children become active, creative, and goal-oriented.
To cultivate persistence in children, you can also support them by setting a timer on the table and setting the alarm at an appropriate time, suitable for the child’s attention level. You suggest your child do the task until the alarm rings, then they can take a rest.
Parents praise the completion of the task first, and gradually the child will become more focused and persistent. Parents do not criticize when the child unfortunately does not complete or makes mistakes. Because that will make the child give up. Psychologist Stanford Carol Dweck found that when children are praised as “Too smart”, they are less likely to be persistent. But when they are praised for their effort, for example: “You worked really hard! Good job”, children are more motivated and work harder.
Parents should actively encourage perseverance in their children instead of focusing on their grades.
Children have the ability to recover from adversity
Persistence and the ability to recover from adversity are indicators that help people overcome difficulties and achieve success and happiness. This is extremely important for a child. This characteristic is a more accurate predictor of the future than high school graduation scores, high marks in exams, academic achievements, or physical health.
Author Paul Tough, author of the book “How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character”, believes that character is more important than intelligence. Educator and author Jessica Lahey argues that we need to let children fail, partly for them to build resilience and learn coping skills.
To encourage this characteristic in children, parents can encourage them to exercise and play sports. Because sports are very good for experiencing situations and helping children overcome adversity. When the child stumbles, parents should immediately run to the child and help them up. Parents should show love but not do it for the child and encourage them to stand up and cheer when they see the child stand up.
In the process of educating their children, parents need to let their children go through some difficulties, such as when the child forgets to do their homework and the deadline has passed, let the child communicate with the teacher themselves, instead of speaking on behalf of the child.
When a child does not achieve results, encourage them to look at the bright side and try to overcome it next time, surpassing themselves. At the same time, parents should focus on solutions rather than problems, as this will only make things worse.
Parents can also practice gratitude with their children so that they always live in happiness, feel fulfilled rather than deprived, and from there have a better perspective on life.
When your child is facing difficulties, instead of giving them the solution, analyze and give them suggestions so that they can think and identify their own problems, and then choose a solution.
These two important characteristics will help nurture your child to become a resilient child, and as they grow older, they will become even more resilient and profound.
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