Why do we look at our mother to choose a wife and our father to choose a husband?
In reality, children are a reflection of their parents. How parents raise their children determines their character. Typically, daughters are influenced by their mothers, and sons are influenced by their fathers. The image of parents reflects the personality of their children.
The way a mother behaves and acts deeply influences her daughters. And the character and behavior of a father shape his sons. Parents are the best role models for children to learn and imitate.
Therefore, if a mother is responsible, tidy, and organized, she will teach her daughters to have those same good qualities. If a father cares for his family and values them, he can educate his sons to care for and love their mothers and sisters. The sons can then become a reliable support system for their wives and treat them as equals.
Looking at parents in a family can give us an idea of what the future will be like for their children.
Furthermore, the marriage between parents affects their children. If parents treat each other with respect and love, they teach their children about the beauty in marriage. If parents argue and insult each other, they show their children that marriage is just a tomb and has no sanctity.
In reality, many children observe their parents’ behavior and realize what is not good about them in order to change themselves and live differently from their parents. However, many others repeat the same patterns or are negatively influenced.
That is why there is a saying in folklore that advises us to “Look at the mother to choose a wife, and look at the father to choose a husband.”
As parents, we must improve ourselves for our children’s future
Because of the reasons mentioned above, when we become parents, we need to improve ourselves to teach our children good things, to create a good family educational environment, and to be highly regarded by others when looking at our children. We must not let our children be judged by their friends, partners, or their partners’ families as “Oh, if their parents are like that, then they should reconsider because it may not be good. They should not marry.” Our children’s future is greatly influenced by us, their parents. Whether our children receive love and trust without major influences from us, their parents. If we, as parents, have a good reputation and are respected, our children will easily be accepted with good intentions. If we, as parents, are hated or judged poorly, our children will immediately be formed with negative biases such as “Oh, the child of that couple is probably not good”, “If their parents are like that, then there is no chance of having good children”… That’s why parents are the feng shui of their children’s lives.
As a mother, we must teach our sons and daughters to carefully consider before getting married
As parents, we should teach our sons and daughters to look beyond love and carefully consider compatibility. That’s why there is a tradition that when a couple is in love and wants to get married, they need to meet each other’s families. Meeting the family allows us to expand our perspective about our partner. It’s a moment to observe their relationship with the people around them, with family being the most important. It allows us to think about what our future will be like if we marry them. In reality, looking at a partner’s family helps us understand them better. When people in love have limited perspectives, they may claim that their spouse has changed after marriage. In fact, their spouse hasn’t changed; we just haven’t seen everything about them. And looking at the parents, siblings, and relatives is a way to gain a clearer understanding of our future spouse.
Marriage is a matter between two people, but for that marriage to last, it will be greatly influenced by the parents and siblings in the family. Therefore, when choosing a wife or a husband, it is not only about looking at our partner but also about looking at their family.